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Many companies use advertisements to increase their sales. What are the main factors that make an advertisement effective? Is advertising a good thing or a bad thing for society? v.1

Many companies use advertisements to increase their sales. What are the main factors that make an advertisement effective? Is advertising a good thing or a bad thing for society? v. 1
It is true that the increasing profit of the companies is due to advertisements. There are factors where ads can be effective and in my own perspective, I believe that this is best for the society. There are two primary factors to count for an advertisement to be successful. One is the accessibility of these adverts. Nowadays, more and more people are using gadgets and through posting advertisements in the internet, it can reach millions of people, which can be future potential buyers. Another factor is that advertisements can be a success when it can be profitable to consumers. When people see these ads for the betterment of their own well-being, they will become interested in it. For example, purchasing cars, gadgets, and household equipment can alleviate the standards of living of a person. Hence, these methods can help ads to be efficacious. Moreover, this trend can give a positive impact to the society. Firstly, advertisements can give information. Through ads, people can have knowledge of certain things and how to prevent or obtain them. To illustrate, TV ads about food supplements and vitamins can help prevent future diseases. People will recognize that they should have a healthy lifestyle to prolong their life expectancy. Lastly, advertisements can boost the economy. Since companies increase sales by using ads, this can also mean that the revenue will go up. Taxes paid to the government can be used as future improvements and projects for the nation. Thus, sales that are continually growing because of advertisements can be a positive growth for the people of the society. In conclusion, a good access to ads and providing people with the best products to ease their lives can result for an efficacious advertisement. Furthermore, I think that this trend should be maintained as it will impart public awareness and success of the country’s economy.
It is true that the increasing profit of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
is due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. There are factors where ads can be effective and in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective, I believe that this is best for the society.

There are two primary factors to count for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
to be successful. One is the accessibility of these adverts. Nowadays, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using gadgets and through posting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
, it can reach millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which can be future potential buyers. Another factor is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
can be a success when it can be profitable to consumers. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
these ads for the betterment of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
well-being, they will become interested in it.
For example
, purchasing cars, gadgets, and household equipment can alleviate the standards of living of a person.
Hence
, these methods can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
ads to be efficacious.

Moreover
, this trend can give a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact to the society.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
can give information. Through ads,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have knowledge of certain things and how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
or obtain them. To illustrate, TV ads about food supplements and vitamins can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
future diseases.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will recognize that they should have a healthy lifestyle to prolong their life expectancy.
Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
can boost the economy. Since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
increase sales by using ads, this can
also
mean that the revenue will go up. Taxes paid to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as future improvements and projects for the nation.
Thus
, sales that are
continually
growing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
can be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
growth for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the society.

In conclusion
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
access to ads and providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with the best products to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
can result for an efficacious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
.
Furthermore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this trend should
be maintained
as it will impart public awareness and success of the country’s economy.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Many companies use advertisements to increase their sales. What are the main factors that make an advertisement effective? Is advertising a good thing or a bad thing for society? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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