Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many college students will get homesick when they are away from home. What do you think they can do in order to deal with their homesickness? Please include specific reasons and examples in your response. v.1

Many college students will get homesick when they are away from home. What do you think they can do in order to deal with their homesickness? Please include specific reasons and examples in your response. v. 1
Children who are the future generation of the country grow the way they have been taught so. Nowadays, there have been more pressure on kids to get good marks and not bother about any other extracurricular activities. Personally, I do oppose it and it will not create a good environment for the future generation. To begin with I would like to emphasise on team working skills and cooperation among the young ones. It is important to build a social life with one another in the society growing up and developing these skills right form the play school helps them a lot. No soul can live alone without the support from others in this age. Besides, there are zero instances this information had been recorded. On the other hand, being competitive in school is good, but it should not be forced onto the kids. For example, there have been many instances wherein even without ample knowledge or basic education we have seen people succeed in their lives and are in top position now around the globe. Furthermore, I believe that education is not only one way to get success. Finally, I would like to conclude that apart from the academic skills other interpersonal skills should be important as a result, the government should seek thought it and have it implemented right from grade one in each and every school. Hence, skills are more compared to academics and let the bright youngster's live their live they want to do so.
Children who are the future generation of the country grow the way they have
been taught
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. Nowadays, there have been more pressure on kids to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
marks and not bother about any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
extracurricular activities.
Personally
, I do oppose it and it will not create a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
environment for the future generation.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with I would like to
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasise' is British English.
emphasise
on team working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and cooperation among the young ones. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to build a social life with one another in the society growing up and developing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
right form the play school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them a lot. No soul can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
alone without the support from others in this age.
Besides
, there are zero instances this information had
been recorded
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, being competitive in school is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should not
be forced
onto the kids.
For example
, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
instances wherein even without ample knowledge or basic education we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
succeed in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
and are in top position
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
around the globe.
Furthermore
, I believe that education is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success.

Finally
, I would like
to conclude
that apart from the academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as a result
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should seek
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
it and have it implemented right from grade one in each and every school.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are more compared to academics and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the bright youngster's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
they want to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many college students will get homesick when they are away from home. What do you think they can do in order to deal with their homesickness? Please include specific reasons and examples in your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts