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There is a controversial view about whether group learning or independent learning is a better way to students’ study at school. In this essay I will examine both sides of the debate and give my opinion. v.1

There is a controversial view about whether group learning or independent learning is a better way to students’ study at school. In this essay I will examine both sides of the debate and give my opinion. v. 1
Developed nations have to provide assistance for under developing countries to improve the three essential sectors such as health, education and trade. It is undoubtedly true that the wealthy countries should provide financial aid for the third world countries, but the poor nations also have to make an initiative to improve their nations. Aids from wealthy countries is highly essential for under developing nations to make an advancement since many third world nations have inadequate financial funding, technology and human resources on developing their nations. Australia, for instance, provides scholarships for the younger generation in the under developing countries to pursue higher degrees in universities. The main objective of this financial endowment is to improve the quality of human resources in recipient countries so that in years to come the nations will have a well-developed workforce. As a result, the poor countries will have a sufficient number of people who are able to contribute to their nation's developments and raise their nation prosperities. However, this does not mean that the under developing nation should only rely on international reliefs due to the fact that these assistants are provided for a limited period. The poor countries have to make an approach to collaborate with other nations on developing their nations. Timor-Leste, for example, establishes a partnership with neighbouring countries such as Australia and Indonesia to manage their natural resources which revenue can be used to improve infrastructure, health and education sectors. Consequently, in a few decades later, they will not only have a well-built infrastructure, but also have advancement in other sectors. In conclusion, I agree that modern countries ought to support developing nations to improve the essential sectors in their countries. However, I also believe that the poor nations have to make long-term planning to make sure the sustainable development in their nations.
Developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
provide assistance for under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the three essential sectors such as health, education and trade. It is
undoubtedly
true that the wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should provide financial aid for the third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
an initiative to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their nations.

Aids from wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is
highly
essential for under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
an advancement since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
have inadequate financial funding, technology and human resources on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. Australia,
for instance
, provides scholarships for the younger generation in the under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to pursue higher degrees in universities. The main objective of this financial endowment is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the quality of human resources in recipient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that in years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
will have a well-developed workforce.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will have a sufficient number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are able to contribute to their nation's developments and raise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
Possible spelling mistake found.
prosperities
.

However
, this does not mean that the under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rely on international reliefs due to the fact that these assistants
are provided
for a limited period. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
an approach to collaborate with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. Timor-Leste,
for example
, establishes a partnership with
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as Australia and Indonesia to manage their natural resources which revenue can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
infrastructure, health and education sectors.
Consequently
, in a few decades later, they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have a well-built infrastructure,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
have advancement in other sectors.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
ought to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the essential sectors in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
, I
also
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
long-term planning to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
sure the sustainable development in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay There is a controversial view about whether group learning or independent learning is a better way to students’ study at school. In this essay I will examine both sides of the debate and give my opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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