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Many cities suffer from traffic-related problems. What problems does traffic cause in cities and what are the possible solutions? v.2

Many cities suffer from traffic-related problems. What problems does traffic cause in cities and what are the possible solutions? v. 2
Nowadays, more jobs and more facilities are available in urban areas. It makes people immigrate to cities and turns the cities as densely populated areas. These densities cause some major traffic problems in such cities. Traffic jams have some negative effects on people who are living in those big cities and the environment. So, some solutions should be considered to overcome the problems. In this essay traffic problems and some solutions that could be helpful will be discussed. In big cities, air pollution or traffic jams are significant problems which are mainly caused by cars and traffic-related problems. Contamination in big cities is an important factor which has increased health issues. Studies have shown that in metropolises, people have struggled with some health disease such as lung cancer and heart attacks more than any other cities. Without a doubt, those kind of problems are mainly related to environmental pollution. For example, in Tehran the capital of Iran, where the population is more than ten billions! People are faced a lot of serious health problems by air pollution. Some senior citizens who have a critical respiratory disease in such cities are forced by their families to immigrate to other small cities or even rural areas in order to have longer life. Furthermore, more traffic jams can create stress in people’s lives. People have to wake up early and leave their home two or three hours sooner to go to work because of the rush hours in the morning. As a result, they have less time for sleeping which can make their life stressful. So, traffic not only could damage to the environment but also has a crucial role in people’s lifestyle and their health. On the other hand, some solutions should be considered to avoid problems. Governments and people both should be responsible for these kinds of issues. First of all, Governments can enact rules for preventing cars using and encouraging people to use public transportation. For instance, road tax should be increased, and public transport fares should be decreased, they should be as low as possible. Moreover, states can assign more budgets and money to car manufacture for making cars which are environmentally friendly. Electric engine cars can be a good alternative to fossil fuel-based cars which contribute more to air pollution. Secondly, individuals in a society should take care of traffic issue and its problems. It is better that people use their cars in a necessary situation and avoid using in unnecessary situations. Some young people prefer to use their cars for hanging on with their friends or get some short distances which cause traffic jams. Instead of using cars for such unnecessary purposes they could use other alternatives such as subway or bicycle which not only is healthier but is also cost-efficient. Reducing the number of vehicles allowed into cities or people’s self-awareness about their roles and responsibilities in a society can decrease the level of air pollution and other related problems dramatically. In conclusion, living in big cities are stressful, and traffic jam is a big problem, but there are some solutions to overcome. Problems like air pollution and traffic jams are undeniable is such cities however governments and people might manage their society in order to have less traffic.
Nowadays, more jobs and more facilities are available in urban areas. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
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people
immigrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and turns the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
as
densely
populated areas. These densities cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in such
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cities
.
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Traffic
jams have
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some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
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people
who are living in those
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big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and the environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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solutions
should
be considered
to overcome the
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problems
. In this essay
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traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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solutions
that could be helpful will
be discussed
.

In
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big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
or
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traffic
jams are significant
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problems
which are
mainly
caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and traffic-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Contamination in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor which has increased health issues. Studies have shown that in metropolises,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have struggled with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health disease such as lung cancer and heart attacks more than any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Without a doubt,
Did you mean "this kind" or "those kinds"?
those kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are
mainly
related to environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
For example
, in Tehran the capital of Iran, where the population is more than ten billions!
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People
are faced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
serious health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
senior citizens who have a critical respiratory disease in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are forced
by their families to immigrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
or even rural areas in order to have longer life.
Furthermore
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams can create
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wake up early and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their home two or three hours sooner to go to work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the rush hours in the morning.
As a result
, they have less time for sleeping which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their life stressful.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
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traffic
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
could damage to the environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
has a crucial role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
lifestyle and their health.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
should
be considered
to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
both should be responsible for these kinds of issues.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
can enact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
using and encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transportation.
For instance
, road tax should
be increased
, and public transport fares should
be decreased
, they should be as low as possible.
Moreover
, states can assign more budgets and money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
manufacture for making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
which are
environmentally
friendly. Electric engine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
alternative to fossil fuel-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
which contribute more to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
Secondly
, individuals in a society should take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
issue and its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. It is better that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in a necessary situation and avoid using in unnecessary situations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
for hanging on with their friends or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
short distances which cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams.
Instead
of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
for such unnecessary purposes they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
alternatives such as subway or bicycle which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is healthier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is
also
cost-efficient. Reducing the number of vehicles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
self-awareness about their roles and responsibilities in a society can decrease the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
dramatically
.

In conclusion
, living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are stressful, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
to overcome.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Problems
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams are undeniable is such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
however
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might manage their society in order to have less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
82Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many cities suffer from traffic-related problems. What problems does traffic cause in cities and what are the possible solutions? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
543 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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