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Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends whereas many now suffer from loneliness and health problems What are the cause of this and what are some solutions v.14

Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends whereas many now suffer from loneliness and health problems What are the cause of this and what are some solutions v. 14
Due to rapid advancements in technology these days modern men fully depend on these which create lots of health issues as well as feeling of isolation among humans rather than past times. However, there are uncountable factors such as human busy to operate modern gadgets, varieties of fast food as well along with measures like expend time with families, friends and others, increasing the consumption of healthy food as well as do regular exercise. There are multifarious reasons of this perception that is why a vast amount of humans enduring from health ailments and loneliness. Moreover, the main is that due to presence of modern tools, though a huge number of masses busy to use these gadgets in a form of social networking applications. In addition to this, they expand these social apps to express their feelings in the ways of messaging, sharing pictures, uploading status and etcetera which perilous for them and their family relationships because they not spend couple of times together. Even though, today’s era a vast varieties of junk food offered by restaurants of very reasonable prices so that is the reason masses intake dramatically these foods as it saves their time which they utilise to prepare these foods at home. For example, Zomato fast food company delivers several types of fast food items at customers’s houses within minutes which ordered by people. Nevertheless, there are lots of possible steps to reduce the amount of these obstacles and the first is that if a humans will be make it mandatory that they consume a some quantity of time into their hectic schedule and utilise these times with their families than it beneficial for whole to make their relation strong as well as it gradually decline the feeling of isolation among people. On the other hand, masses prefer to eat healthy and nutrition foods which offer them all vitamins, minerals as so on related to their bodies. Furthermore, if a great proportion of humans do daily exercise and yoga than it will be helpful for them to keep them healthy and fit. Apart from this, these healthy foods and exercise not only provide them good health but also way for long lives. For instance, a survey conducted by media reported that a person who intake healthy and diet food and do regular exercise are able to live more as compared with others. In conclusion, although a more and more growing number of modern gadgets and sealed food items emerge so many complications for modern humans but if they take some crucial steps than they save themselves from these hurdles.
Due to rapid advancements in technology these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
fully
depend on these which create lots of health issues as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as feeling of isolation among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
rather
than past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
.
However
, there are uncountable factors such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
busy to operate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
gadgets, varieties of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
along with measures like expend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with families, friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
, increasing the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as do regular exercise.

There are multifarious reasons of this perception
that is
why a vast amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
enduring from health ailments and loneliness.
Moreover
, the main is that due to presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
tools, though a huge number of masses busy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these gadgets in a form of social networking applications.
In addition
to this, they expand these social apps to express their feelings in the ways of messaging, sharing pictures, uploading status and etcetera which perilous for them and their family relationships
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they not spend
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
together.
Even though
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s era a vast
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "variety"?
varieties
of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
offered by restaurants of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
reasonable prices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that is
the reason masses intake
dramatically
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
as it saves their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which they
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
to prepare these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
at home.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zomato
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
delivers several types of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items at
Did you mean "customer’s" or "customers’"?
customers’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
within minutes which ordered by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Nevertheless
, there are lots of possible steps to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of these obstacles and the
first
is that if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it mandatory that they consume a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
into their hectic schedule and
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
with their families than it beneficial for whole to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their relation strong as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as it
gradually
decline the feeling of isolation among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
On the other hand
, masses prefer to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and nutrition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
which offer them all vitamins, minerals as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on related to their bodies.
Furthermore
, if a great proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
do daily exercise and yoga than it will be helpful for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and fit. Apart from this, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and exercise not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
way for long
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For instance
, a survey conducted by media reported that a person who intake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and diet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and do regular exercise are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared with others.

In conclusion
, although a more and more growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
gadgets and sealed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items emerge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
complications for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if they take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
crucial steps than they save themselves from these hurdles.
20Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends whereas many now suffer from loneliness and health problems What are the cause of this and what are some solutions v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
432 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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