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Many children these days have their own mobile phones. What are advantages and disadvantages? Give your own opinion. v.3

Many children these days have their own mobile phones. What are advantages and disadvantages? Give your own opinion. v. 3
From last two decades this topic is catching a significant attention of society that whether mobile phone is good for children or it only brings disadvantages for young generation. The main attraction of mobile phones for the young generation is the use of internet and social media. On the first hand, it is reasonable to say that mobile phone has made our life easy in many aspects. For example, when the kid is going out for any school event of coaching/ tuition, mobile phone could make it easy for parents to communicate with him/ her. So for the safety purpose of the kid it is a perfect invention. The other best example of mobile usage is in the field of education. Internet is the best source of any kind of information be it is related to studies, project making or general affairs. The other side of the coin, along with many advantages mobile bring numerous disadvantage in the children' s life. Many studies proved that unlimited usage of mobile phone is really dangerous for the brain. It could stop the growth of brain and cognitive skills of growing kids. Although this is the fact that in modern days our life is vitally depends on the cell phones. In my opinion bring significant changes in our life. To mitigate the problems related to mobile, parents should make some rules on the usage timing. Guardian should also keep an eye on the kids that what kind of things they are watching. With the help of rules and regulations we can address this problem.
From last two decades this topic is catching a significant attention of society that whether mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for children or it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
brings disadvantages for young generation. The main attraction of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
for the young generation is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet and social media.

On the
first
hand, it is reasonable to say that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
has made our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easy in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects.
For example
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
is going out for any school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
of coaching/ tuition, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easy for parents to communicate with him/ her.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
for the safety purpose of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
it is a perfect invention. The other best example of mobile usage is in the field of education. Internet is the best source of any kind of information be it
is related
to studies, project making or general affairs.

The other side of the coin, along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages mobile bring numerous disadvantage in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
studies proved that unlimited usage of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for the brain. It could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the growth of brain and cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
this is the fact that in modern days our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
vitally
depends on the cell phones.

In my opinion bring significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To mitigate the problems related to mobile, parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
on the usage timing. Guardian should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
that what kind of things they are watching. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations we can address this problem.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many children these days have their own mobile phones. What are advantages and disadvantages? Give your own opinion. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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