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Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children? v.3

Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children? v. 3
A newborn child is easily affected by diseases as soon as they leave their mother’s womb. Government hospitals provide a course of vaccination, in different stages of childhood, to prevent diseases. Most of the vaccinations are given because, the child’s immune system cannot fight against such dioceses. Once a disease is notified, it has the probability of spreading throughout the area where it was identified initially. Therefore, a disease in a child, will affect the child as well as anyone who interact. Immunizing children should be an onus of a parent, followed without hesitating. Consequently, immunizing their own child subsequently, prevent the disease from spreading. Individuals having the right to choose the procedure of immunizing a child will have an adverse impact. A parent can be in various standards in the society. Whilst some may not know the significance of vaccination. If such parent come across a decision, to not immune their child at any circumstance, it’s a risk for the people living in that area. Furthermore, if a death is reported regarding a situation alike, the government is responsible for it, for not intending to prevent the cause beforehand. By instituting a law to immune children, every parent bound to follow it regardless of their standard. And once the law is active, a death reported due to a disease without vaccination, will be a cause to charge a penalty or take actions against that parent. Therefore, in my aspect I believe instituting a law for vaccination is more convenient.
A newborn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their mother’s womb.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
hospitals provide a course of vaccination, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stages of childhood, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. Most of the vaccinations are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
immune system cannot fight against such dioceses.

Once a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
is notified
, it has the probability of spreading throughout the area where it
was identified
initially
.
Therefore
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
, will affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
as well
as anyone who interact. Immunizing children should be an onus of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
, followed without hesitating.
Consequently
, immunizing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
subsequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
from spreading.

Individuals having the right to choose the procedure of immunizing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
will have an adverse impact. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
can be in various standards in the society. Whilst
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may not know the significance of vaccination. If such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across a decision, to not immune their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
at any circumstance, it’s a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in that area.
Furthermore
, if a death
is reported
regarding a situation alike, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is responsible for it, for not intending to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the cause beforehand.

By instituting a law to immune children, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
bound to follow it regardless of their standard. And once the law is active, a death reported due to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
without vaccination, will be a cause to charge a penalty or take actions against that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
.
Therefore
, in my aspect I believe instituting a law for vaccination is more convenient.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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