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Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children? v.5

Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children? v. 5
Discussion regarding the topic "Usage of vaccine to cure of childhood diseases" is always a debatable one. To my knowledge, usage of these, is either for prevention or cure the disease. Let’s discuss some of the advantages in the following. Firstly, For the former Prevention, vaccination should be given must in order to avoid them for the rest of life. For example, Polio which should vaccine at the early stage of life, which may lead to death or leave the child physically challenged. If they become physically challenged, then they need to suffer for the rest of their life. Vaccine for this sort of disease, is for betterment of the entire life. To the latter point, immunize the children in order not get it once more in a lifetime. For Example, Chicken pox is the one which will show up at the early stage of childhood, may be under five years. Vaccination for these should be must as a cure. It’s not considerable point, Nowadays, but when we consider the past lot of lives are lost because of it. Considering the other side of the coin, continues usage of them may hamper the development of natural immune system. Some of the kids are dependent on medicine as a natural immune system was damaged because of medicine. They should depend on the vaccine throughout their life and sometimes it may lead to situation, where usage of them will not cure the disease. In conclusion, Usage of immune for the disease is good for life, if it was not a habitat
Discussion regarding the topic
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cure
of childhood diseases
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
is always a debatable one. To my knowledge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of these, is either for prevention or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cure
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
advantages in the following.

Firstly
, For the former Prevention, vaccination should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
in order to avoid them for the rest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, Polio which should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
at the early stage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, which may lead to death or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the child
physically
challenged. If they become
physically
challenged, then they need to suffer for the rest of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Vaccine
for this sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
, is for betterment of the entire life.

To the latter point, immunize the children in order not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it once more in a lifetime.
For Example
, Chicken pox is the one which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
up at the early stage of childhood, may be under five years. Vaccination for these should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cure
. It’s not considerable point, Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when we consider the past lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are lost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of it.

Considering the other side of the coin, continues
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of them may hamper the development of natural immune system.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
kids are dependent on medicine as a natural immune system
was damaged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of medicine. They should depend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
throughout their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it may lead to situation, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of them will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cure
the disease.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Usage
of immune for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, if it was not a habitat
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children? v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
258 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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