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Many businesses in the world today are run by family members. Do the advantages of family-run businesses outweigh the disadvantages. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experiences or knowledge v.1

Many businesses in the world today are run by family members. Do the advantages of family-run businesses outweigh the disadvantages. 1
Now a day most of the businessmen all over the world continue their business with their family members. They also think that it is the identity of their family. But I have a different opinion on this topic. Every person has their own talent and own ideas to do in their life. Even though they have different ideas to do in their life, they are not allowed to shine in their wished career path. Due to their emotional sentiments, those people are dropping their wishes and goal and take over the business. Even they don't have much skill in that business, they make them take over their business. They think that their business should be filled with their family members only. They are forcing their family members to involve in the business. Since many capitalists have their own family members in their business, The skilled people from other families are not allowed to participate in their business. Due to this kind of businessman, Their dreams are vanishing. Even their family members are not skilled in that work, They won't allow other people to work on it. This may lead their business to loss. But they won't care about such stuff. They always want their business to be run by one of our family members. Because of this, Sometime there won't be the right person in the right position. To conclude this, The Right talent to be in the right place. Every person has their own talent. We should force our family members to stick with our own family business. We should let them shine in their own fields.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
a day most of the businessmen all over the world continue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is the identity of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinion on this topic.

Every person has
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular and thus take a singular pronoun: "his", "her", "his or her", "its"
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
talent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to do in their life.
Even though
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to do in their life, they are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to shine in their wished career path. Due to their emotional sentiments, those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are dropping their wishes and goal and take over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. Even they don't have much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them take over their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
should
be filled
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. They are forcing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
to involve in the business.

Since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
capitalists have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, The skilled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to participate in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. Due to this kind of businessman, Their dreams are vanishing. Even their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are not skilled in that work, They won't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to work on it. This may lead their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
to loss.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
they won't care about such stuff. They always want their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
to
be run
by one of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
.
Because of this
, Sometime there won't be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
person in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
position.

To conclude
this, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Right
talent to be in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
place. Every person has
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular and thus take a singular pronoun: "his", "her", "his or her", "its"
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
talent. We should force our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
to stick with our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. We should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them shine in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
fields.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Many businesses in the world today are run by family members. Do the advantages of family-run businesses outweigh the disadvantages. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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