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Many animals species are becoming extinct as a result of human activities. What are the causes an possible solutions to this problem. v.1

Many animals species are becoming extinct as a result of human activities. What are the causes an possible solutions to this problem. v. 1
Excessive human intervention in nature's activity has led to extinction of certain animals. This essay will discuss the reasons including Hunting and Forest fire. This essay will also suggest solution as serious criminal charges on hunting and alternative methods for saving them from fire. Some of the animal has gone extinct because of public mis-management. The greatest example of this the amazon fire which in just 2 days time eradicated many species which took shelter that forest. These fire are often from a small cigratte or a match stick which is used by humans. This was not the only fire which took, there has been many such as calfornia fire, fire in africa. Secondly, hunting has been always a prominent reason for species going extinct. Hunting only happens for those animals who are rare and are having good prices in the market for their skin or teeth or medicinal. A research has been done of nearly extinction of fish, we are hugely hunting fishes for feeding or medicinal purpose and they are not growing at the same rate as we are hunting them. Thus, Hunting and forest fires have majorly responsible for mass eradication of animals because of humans. Increasing extinction in animals due to human activities is a reason for worrysome. Though it is not too late and we can work upon the solutions and save our animal kingdom. If the government can have criminal charges levy on the person hunting the animals, it would retain people from doing it. Certain countries like India, Bangaldesh they have banned hunting and made punishment very severe. Secondly, we should have a proper disaster management team in place for such big fire, we should have an animal evaucation team in place for this. In these recent fire, it was evident that we were more curious to save humans than any other species. Therefore, making the hunting a global offence and having a reliable team to support in case of the fire can save us from mass eradication. In conclusion, evidently humans are the main reason of death of many animals. This essay discussed the causes largely summarised as hunting and forest blaze. This essay also suggested solution to make hunting illegal and banning the citizen from doing it, and to have a back up team for evacuation of animals stuck in such fire.
Excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
intervention in nature's activity has led to extinction of certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hunting
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Forest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will
also
suggest solution as serious criminal charges on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
and alternative methods for saving them from fire.

If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
has gone extinct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of public
Possible spelling mistake found.
mis-management
. The greatest example of this the
Possible spelling mistake found.
amazon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
which in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
2 days time eradicated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species which took shelter that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
Possible spelling mistake found.
cigratte
or a match stick which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. This was not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
which took, there has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
calfornia
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
africa
.
Secondly
,
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hunting
has been always a prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for species going extinct.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hunting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
happens for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
who are rare and are having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
prices in the market for their skin or teeth or medicinal.
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
A research
has
been done
of
nearly
extinction of fish, we are
hugely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
fishes for feeding or medicinal
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
purpose and
they are not growing at the same rate as we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
them.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hunting
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fires
have
majorly
responsible for mass eradication of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of humans.

Increasing extinction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activities is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
worrysome
. Though it is not too
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
late and
we can work upon the solutions and save our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
kingdom. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can have criminal charges levy on the person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, it would retain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from doing it. Certain countries like India,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bangaldesh
they have banned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
and made punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
severe.
Secondly
, we should have a proper disaster management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
in place for such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
, we should have an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
Possible spelling mistake found.
evaucation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
in place for this. In these recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
, it was evident that we were more curious to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
than any other species.
Therefore
, making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
a global
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
and having a reliable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
to support in case of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
can save us from mass eradication.

In conclusion
,
evidently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of death of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
discussed the causes
largely
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarised' is British English.
summarised
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
blaze. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
also
suggested solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
illegal and banning the citizen from doing it, and to have a back up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
for evacuation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
stuck in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
54Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Many animals species are becoming extinct as a result of human activities. What are the causes an possible solutions to this problem. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
391 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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