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Many animal species are becoming extinct as a result of human activities. What are the causes and possible solutions to this problem? v.1

Many animal species are becoming extinct as a result of human activities. What are the causes and possible solutions to this problem? v. 1
It is an undeniable fact that most of the creatures are now on the verge of extinction because of the catastrophic human activities. The main causes include the loss of habitat and hunting of animals for various purposes. The solution to this problem will require participation by individuals ranging from the common people to the government officials. To begin with, the major reason of some animal species becoming endangered is the damage caused to their natural habitats. For activities such as road and house construction and making way for fields, deforestation has been carried out by the authorities and the farmers respectively which has drastically impacted the count of wild animals. For instance, the giant panda species have been declared extinct despite the establishment, since 1963, of 14 panda reserves in China. To combat this situation, the regime should chalk out conservation management plans to build more reserves, promote reforestation and protect the forest boundaries. This can substantially contribute in saving the creatures from getting disappeared from the planet. Another significant cause of extinction of many animals involves animal poaching and hunting by humans. Many people illegally use the skin and other body parts of animals for smuggling, which fetches them a whopping sum of money. To illustrate, white tigers and black deers are hunted by many for their skins and teeth, which has led to a shocking decline in their overall count. As a potential solution to this problem, the government should implement stringent laws against illegal hunting of endangered species and more importantly, people should also follow them diligently. To conclude, undoubtedly, thousands of animal types have become either endangered or completely extinct, mainly because of various environmental threats posed by the mankind, such as deforestation and animal-hunting. Such an issue can be controlled to a considerable extent, if authorities introduce heavy penalties against forest destruction and illegal animal hunting, and people also abide by the rules actively.
It is an undeniable fact that most of the creatures are
now
on the verge of extinction
because
of the catastrophic human activities. The main causes include the loss of habitat and
hunting
of
animals
for various purposes. The solution to this problem will require participation by individuals ranging from the common
people
to the
government
officials.

To
begin
with, the major reason of
some
animal
species becoming endangered is the damage caused to their natural habitats. For activities such as road and
house
construction and making way for fields, deforestation has
been carried
out by the authorities and the farmers
respectively
which has
drastically
impacted the count of wild
animals
.
For instance
, the giant panda species have
been declared
extinct despite the establishment, since 1963, of 14 panda reserves in China. To combat this situation, the regime should chalk out conservation management plans to build more reserves, promote reforestation and protect the forest boundaries. This can
substantially
contribute in saving the creatures from getting disappeared from the planet.

Another significant cause of extinction of
many
animals
involves
animal
poaching and
hunting
by humans.
Many
people
illegally
use
the skin and other body parts of
animals
for smuggling, which fetches them a whopping sum of money. To illustrate, white tigers and black
deers
are hunted
by
many
for their skins and teeth, which has led to a shocking decline in their
overall
count. As a potential solution to this problem, the
government
should implement stringent laws against illegal
hunting
of endangered species and more
importantly
,
people
should
also
follow them
diligently
.

To conclude
,
undoubtedly
, thousands of
animal
types have become either endangered or completely extinct,
mainly
because
of various environmental threats posed by the mankind, such as deforestation and animal-hunting. Such an issue can
be controlled
to a considerable extent, if authorities introduce heavy penalties against forest destruction and illegal
animal
hunting
, and
people
also
abide by the
rules
actively
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many animal species are becoming extinct as a result of human activities. What are the causes and possible solutions to this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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