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Although sports events are very popular violence at these events is on the increase Why is this so What should authorities do to prevent violence from taking place at sports events Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your o v.2

Although sports events are very popular violence at these events is on the increase Why is this so What should authorities do to prevent violence from taking place at sports events 2
Despite the fact that sports are considered to be the biggest entertainment to people all over the world, the violence in these events is a pressing concern. What are the prime reasons for the fans to act so brutally towards each other and what the authorities can do to eradicate such behavior? People are enthusiastic as well as desperate when it comes to their favorite games. From small kids to mature adults go crazy from the moment the game starts. Although sports are meant for entertainment, some people are too addicted to go completely insane over their favorite players or the team. As a result, people, regardless of age or gender, indulge themselves in illegal betting against players or teams and this usually involves a huge chunk of money. Subsequently, if the team or the participants, whom they support, do not perform well at a particular match, people who have invested an exorbitant price upon them, get infuriated and it sparks violence among them. For Instance, India has witnessed many crime reports against illegal betting when it comes to World Cup Cricket Tournament, conducted by ICC. Apart from this, popular sports games are often crowded and moreover, the ticket prices are huge. Hence, everyone wants a comfortable and convenient surrounding to enjoy the sport, however, this is impossible with the sheer number of spectators. Ultimately, this creates arguments and violence due to frustration. In such a scenario, police officers must maintain strict rules and regulations to maintain law and order. People, who are involved in such irrational activities in a public event, must be excluded and banned from attending any such events. Additionally, they must be fined a huge amount. Such harsh punishment might instill some self-control within people. Moreover, it is required to ensure peace between fans as games are solely dedicated to entertainment. To recapitulate, I would say the reasons behind violence occurring in sports events are illegal betting and over-crowding of audiences, and local regime can enforce tough punishments to reduce such acts and maintain peace and harmony.
Despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are considered
to be the biggest entertainment to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the world, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is a pressing concern. What are the prime reasons for the fans to act
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
brutally
towards each other and what the authorities can do to eradicate such behavior?

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are enthusiastic
as well
as desperate when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to their favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. From
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
kids to mature adults go crazy from the moment the game
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are meant
for entertainment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are too addicted to go completely insane over their favorite players or the team.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, regardless of age or gender, indulge themselves in illegal betting against players or teams and this
usually
involves a huge chunk of money.
Subsequently
, if the team or the participants, whom they support, do not perform well at a particular match,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have invested an exorbitant price upon them,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
infuriated and it sparks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
among them.
For Instance
, India has witnessed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
crime reports against illegal betting when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to World Cup Cricket Tournament, conducted by ICC. Apart from this, popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
crowded and
moreover
, the ticket prices are huge.
Hence
, everyone wants a comfortable and convenient surrounding to enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
,
however
, this is impossible with the sheer number of spectators.
Ultimately
, this creates arguments and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
due to frustration.

In such a scenario, police officers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
maintain strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations to maintain law and order.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
, who
are involved
in such irrational activities in a public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be excluded
and banned from attending any such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
.
Additionally
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be fined
a huge amount. Such harsh punishment might instill
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
self-control within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
, it
is required
to ensure peace between fans as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
solely
dedicated to entertainment.

To recapitulate, I would say the reasons behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
occurring in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are illegal betting and over-crowding of audiences, and local regime can enforce tough punishments to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
such acts and maintain peace and harmony.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Although sports events are very popular violence at these events is on the increase Why is this so What should authorities do to prevent violence from taking place at sports events 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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