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Major companies use sport events to promote their products. Some people think it has a negative effect on sport. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience. v.1

Major companies use sport events to promote their products. Some people think it has a negative effect on sport. v. 1
Consumerism among the youngster is one of the most dreadful threats that actually irritates us. It is believed that the seminary bears the responsibility to assist the students in terms of cash utilization in these sophisticated era. In my opinion, I think that this occurrence turn to be our imperative in the future because of the loyal life of the millennial generation. In the light of the topic, I will interpret two of my personal stereotypes about this occurrence. To begin with, there are myriads of affluent families who do not include financial instruction as their children's main skill. The prevailing parents are too affectionate to their generations in terms of wealth. They do not concern about the children's behaviour towards the granted wage and always pamper the children with luxury goods. This deed are not a good way to love the next generations because it create the sense of consumerism among the teenagers. Therefore, schools should support the parents in terms of an incomplete tutoring system of the parents. To end with, the abundance of students' time is spent in their institute. This means the education centre should create a good financial tutorial for the learners. To illustrate, when a student just brings a large sum of cash to the institution, the authorities should supervise the utilization of the cash and admonish them if needed. Thus, the development of the students' mindset through salary is originated from the academy. To conclude, today's social life forms the egocentric character of the teenagers in terms of wealth utilization. From my point of view, I espouse the idea that university should be resilient enough to shape the financial mindset of the students and also the future implementation.
Consumerism among the youngster is one of the most dreadful threats that actually irritates us. It
is believed
that the seminary bears the responsibility to assist the students in terms of cash utilization in these sophisticated era. In my opinion, I
think
that this occurrence turn to be our imperative in the future
because
of the loyal life of the millennial generation. In the light of the topic, I will interpret two of my personal stereotypes about this occurrence.

To
begin
with, there are myriads of affluent families who do not include financial instruction as their children's main
skill
. The prevailing parents are too affectionate to their generations in terms of wealth. They do not concern about the children's
behaviour
towards the granted wage and always pamper the children with luxury
goods
.
This deed are
not a
good
way to
love
the
next
generations
because
it
create
the sense of consumerism among the
teenagers
.
Therefore
, schools should support the parents in terms of an incomplete tutoring system of the parents.

To
end
with, the abundance of students' time
is spent
in their institute. This means the education
centre
should create a
good
financial tutorial for the learners. To illustrate, when a student
just
brings a large sum of cash to the institution, the authorities should supervise the utilization of the cash and admonish them if needed.
Thus
, the development of the students' mindset through salary
is originated
from the academy.

To conclude
,
today
's social life forms the egocentric character of the
teenagers
in terms of wealth utilization. From my point of view, I espouse the
idea
that university should be resilient
enough
to shape the financial mindset of the students and
also
the future implementation.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Major companies use sport events to promote their products. Some people think it has a negative effect on sport. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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