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Maintaining public libraries is now a waste of money since computer technology is already replacing their function. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Maintaining public libraries is now a waste of money since computer technology is already replacing their function. v. 1
it is often argued that the libraries are very useful to learn knowledge for education nowadays. Some people might claim that preserving public libraries are spending so much budget because of science development. Although some analog resources are necessary, I strongly agree that people should use the advanced function. This essay will address pros of computer technology. First of all, people tend to use the digital resources in modern society. The digital books are much easier to read than written books because it is portable and fast to find references. For example, when they are travelling they are able to read anywhere in transportation and also the reference of the book is very easy to find. In other words, people just move their fingers to scroll down with the devices such as iphone which means it is comfortable to reach to the modern technology. Moreover, manufacturing paper books affects the environment. When the written books are developing many natural resources are sacrificed such as trees. For instance, when people destroy the mother nature to make analog things a tons of garbage would be increased then it deteriorates the environment in our community. Furthermore, digital things are more affordable than paper resources du to the fact that no construction needed. Therefore, people must create higher technology to save money and maintain our environment. In conclusion, it is also important when it comes to keeping educational building, but we should decrease to handle it because developed science will replace. We also encourage people to use digital and need to save money. This is our obligation for the next generation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that the libraries are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful to learn knowledge for education nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might claim that preserving public libraries are spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much budget
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of science development. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
analog resources are necessary, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the advanced function. This essay will address pros of computer technology.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the digital resources in modern society. The digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are much easier to read than written
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is portable and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
to find references.
For example
, when they are travelling they are able to read anywhere in transportation and
also
the reference of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to find.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
their fingers to scroll down with the devices such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
iphone
which means it is comfortable to reach to the modern technology.

Moreover
, manufacturing paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
affects the environment. When the written
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are developing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
natural resources
are sacrificed
such as trees.
For instance
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the mother nature to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
analog things
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a ton" or simply "tons"?
a tons
of garbage would
be increased
then it deteriorates the environment in our community.
Furthermore
, digital things are more affordable than paper resources
Possible spelling mistake found.
du
to the fact that no construction needed.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
create higher technology to save money and maintain our environment.

In conclusion
, it is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to keeping educational building,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should decrease to handle it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
developed science will replace. We
also
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
digital and need to save money. This is our obligation for the
next
generation.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Maintaining public libraries is now a waste of money since computer technology is already replacing their function. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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