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It is impossible to help people in the world, so governments should only focus on people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

It is impossible to help people in the world, so governments should only focus on people in their own countries. v. 2
Many people believe that governments budgets should not spend on helping people in other countries and just expense for their own countries. In my opinion, I totally disagree with this view. On the one hand, the country’s budget used for their citizen with the priority is necessary. Firstly, the main source of one country budget derived from tax of their citizen so its expenditure should meet their citizen basicness at least. For example, education, environment, healthy are three main fields must be ensured. Secondly, investing in the country by their own country’s budget is also the way ensured that this budget will be generated. However, on the other hand, I believe that spending money from country’s budget on helping people in the world is must thing do. First of all, it is a common humanity which everybody must have. We are living in the one earth, sharing one atmosphere, having one ancestor so we should help people who lack the basicness of life as a moral responsibility. Although there are many international relief organizations and charities in the world such as UNICEF, Red Cross but they can not assist all people without helping of other countries. Furthermore, helping all people in the world is also the way we help ourselves. Since this activity will make global economy increase steadily which effect on every country directly. If one country is not helping people who in poorer condition, maybe in the future citizen of their country will fall in the same condition and have no assistance from other countries. In conclusion, although one country has many problems to tackle in their country; however, I believe that they should spend one part of their budget on helping people in in the world.
Many
people
believe that
governments
budgets
should not spend on helping
people
in
other
countries
and
just
expense for their
own
countries
. In my opinion, I
totally
disagree with this view.

On the one hand, the
country’s
budget
used
for their
citizen
with the priority is necessary.
Firstly
, the main source of one
country
budget
derived from tax of their
citizen
so
its expenditure should
meet
their
citizen
basicness
at least.
For example
, education, environment, healthy are three main fields
must
be ensured
.
Secondly
, investing in the
country
by their
own
country’s
budget
is
also
the way ensured that this
budget
will
be generated
.

However
, on the
other
hand, I believe that spending money from
country’s
budget
on helping
people
in the
world
is
must
thing
do.
First of all
, it is a common humanity which everybody
must
have. We are living in the one earth, sharing one atmosphere, having one ancestor
so
we should
help
people
who lack the
basicness
of life as a moral responsibility. Although there are
many
international relief organizations and charities in the
world
such as UNICEF, Red Cross
but
they can not assist all
people
without helping of
other
countries
.
Furthermore
, helping all
people
in the
world
is
also
the way we
help
ourselves. Since this activity will
make
global economy increase
steadily
which effect on every
country
directly
. If one
country
is not helping
people
who in poorer condition, maybe in the future
citizen
of their
country
will fall in the same condition and have no assistance from
other
countries.

In conclusion
, although one
country
has
many
problems to tackle in their
country
;
however
, I believe that they should spend one part of their
budget
on helping
people
in in
the
world
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It is impossible to help people in the world, so governments should only focus on people in their own countries. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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