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Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since there is computer technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since there is computer technology. v. 1
Our childhood memories are filled with the smell of books. Although in the modern world, ebooks are a trend, but it is not always apt to read online. In this essay, I want to put forth my views that the libraries are always needed, no matter how far the technology takes us. There are few benefits of the technology enhancements with respect to the studies. The kids, as well as adults, can read books online at home or while travelling. They can browse everything online and get their doubts resolved then and there. But, the kind of concentration anyone can have in a library, is unmatched. You can read in solace, at your own pace and no one disturbs you. One can spend hours in a library without getting bored. It is also very easy to find the book of your choice. There are various sections for different categories of the books. There is a map to guide people about the same. And there is a librarian to answer queries, if required. Sometimes, it becomes stressful also to read on a computer or iPad, etc. Eyes are strained and people get head-ache by reading online continuously. There is another advantage of having a library. It not only serves the purpose of getting readers do their studies, but also provides them with an opportunity to interact. It is kind of a meeting place for like minders. Community living is inspired inside a library. Sometimes, there are events or literary festivals organised by the sponsors. As a conclusion, I would like to mention in the light of the above facts that the expense of maintaining a library far outshines its advantages.
Our childhood memories
are filled
with the smell of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. Although in the modern world,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ebooks
are a trend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not always apt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. In this essay, I want to put forth my views that the libraries are always needed, no matter how far the technology takes us.

There are few benefits of the technology enhancements with respect to the studies. The kids,
as well
as adults, can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
at home or while travelling. They can browse everything
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their doubts resolved then and there.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the kind of concentration anyone can have in a library,
is unmatched
. You can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
in solace, at your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pace and no one disturbs you. One can spend hours in a library without getting bored. It is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
of your choice. There are various sections for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. There is a map to guide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about the same. And there is a librarian to answer queries, if required.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, it becomes stressful
also
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
on a computer or iPad, etc. Eyes
are strained
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
head-ache by reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
continuously
.

There is another advantage of having a library. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
serves the purpose of getting readers do their studies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provides them with an opportunity to interact. It is
If 'kind' is a classification term, 'a' is not necessary. Use "kind of". (The phrases 'kind of' and 'sort of' are informal if they mean 'to some extent'.)
kind of a
meeting place for like minders. Community living
is inspired
inside a library.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
or literary festivals
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
by the sponsors.

As a conclusion, I would like to mention in the light of the above facts that the expense of maintaining a library far outshines its advantages.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since there is computer technology. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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