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Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. v.8

Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. v. 8
Generally speaking that older generation over sixty-five years old can do certain activities and can contribute to a great extent. I am quite sure that they could participate in some activities not only in the formal range but also in the informal area. I will outline two ways in which people can get benefits of this interest. Becoming involved in family’s special occasions is one of the ways in which the elderly can contribute. The woman older relatives could share the recipes of traditional meals and the men could share their opinions and interests in traditional games that they used to play in the past. Hence, the younger relatives will be happier because they might feel more complete. The marriage couple could get some tips on how to build a happy family from them. Gathering with whole family members can increase happiness. Another way is the elderly can participate in the school. For instance, the school can contact local retired people for sharing their experience to pupils. I am quite sure that the children will be fascinated by the older people’s story about the circumstances in the past. They could give information about the vital links between previous live and present time. On the other hand, children can ask their grandparents for replacing their parents, due to families now more mobile, on career days. Some professions like teaching, research, writing, mentoring requires experience and the older people can contribute in these professions. For instance, an old professor can be a great resource for the research department in a college or university. In short, the older generation can bring some benefits to society. As our life expectancy improves, the need for the older generation's contribution also should be increased. Making elderly more active in society not only bring positive impact for them, but also for the young generation.
Generally
speaking that
older
generation over sixty-five years
old
can do certain activities and can contribute to a great extent. I am quite sure that they could participate in
some
activities not
only
in the formal range
but
also
in the informal area. I will outline two ways in which
people
can
get
benefits of this interest.

Becoming involved in
family’s
special occasions is one of the ways in which the elderly can contribute. The woman
older
relatives could share the recipes of traditional meals and the
men
could share their opinions and interests in traditional games that they
used
to play in the past.
Hence
, the younger relatives will be happier
because
they might feel more complete. The marriage couple could
get
some
tips on how to build a happy
family
from them. Gathering with whole
family
members can increase happiness.

Another way is the elderly can participate in the school.
For instance
, the school can contact local retired
people
for sharing their experience to pupils. I am quite sure that the children will
be fascinated
by the
older
people’s
story about the circumstances in the past. They could give information about the vital links between previous
live
and present time.
On the other hand
, children can ask their grandparents for replacing their parents, due to
families
now
more mobile, on career days.

Some
professions like teaching, research, writing, mentoring requires experience and the
older
people
can contribute in these professions.
For instance
, an
old
professor can be a great resource for the research department in a college or university.

In short, the
older
generation can bring
some
benefits to society. As our life expectancy
improves
, the need for the
older
generation's contribution
also
should
be increased
. Making elderly more active in society not
only
bring
positive
impact for them,
but
also
for the young generation.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. v. 8

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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