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Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?

Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make? v. 5
It is said that for the prosperity of community the presence of elder people is necessary. For their better health and live long they should live with full of joy and do different varieties of activity to make themselves fit. In this aspect society can provide not only help but can get the advantage too. The advantages of doing so are explained in the ensuing paragraphs. The primary brighter side, most importantly, they are not rely on medical help. This is to say that if these retirees are fit and with great life style they do not need any kind of medication for their survival. As a result the family income and finance can be use for another recreational activities such as picnic, celebration and so on. Moreover, they provide perfect guidance to their family members. That is they have more experience in life and practically more active than any generation. Thus, to provide verbal help they are always there. In addition to this, upbringing of younger kids are vastly taken care by this age group. To elaborate, those who are over 60's are responsible for create and maintain the discipline in the family. They give constant instruction to their grandchild about moral ethics and etiquette. At the end community will be full of good citizen. To cite an example, as per survey in India most of the people choose to live with grandparents due to the above mentioned advantage. To sum up, the elderly persons are vital members not only in the family but also in society and nations as well. They are roots of our culture and for the development and prosperity of society presence of them is required. Apart from this, they provides the positive impact such as saving in income and child upbringing as mentioned in above paragraphs.
It
is said
that for the prosperity of community the presence of elder
people
is necessary. For their better health and
live
long they should
live
with full of joy and do
different
varieties of activity to
make
themselves fit. In this aspect society can
provide
not
only
help
but
can
get
the advantage too. The advantages of doing
so
are
explained
in the ensuing paragraphs.

The primary brighter side, most
importantly
, they are not
rely
on medical
help
. This is to say that if these retirees
are fit
and with great life style they do not need any kind of medication for their survival.
As a result
the
family
income and finance can be
use
for another recreational activities such as picnic, celebration and
so
on.
Moreover
, they
provide
perfect guidance to their
family
members. That
is
they have more experience in life and
practically
more active than any generation.
Thus
, to
provide
verbal
help
they are always there.

In addition
to this, upbringing of younger kids are
vastly
taken care by this age group. To elaborate, those who are over
60's
are responsible for create and maintain the discipline in the
family
. They give constant instruction to their grandchild about moral ethics and etiquette. At the
end
community will be full of
good
citizen. To cite an example, as per survey in India most of the
people
choose to
live
with grandparents due to the above mentioned advantage.

To sum up, the elderly persons are vital members not
only
in the
family
but
also
in society and nations
as well
. They are roots of our culture and for the development and prosperity of society presence of them
is required
. Apart from this, they
provides
the
positive
impact such as saving in income and child upbringing as mentioned in above paragraphs.
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IELTS essay Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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