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In many countries people of all ages do sports and exercises a lot. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvanatges? Give reason for your answer and include examples from your own experience and knowledge. v.2

In many countries people of all ages do sports and exercises a lot. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvanatges? Give reason for your answer and include examples from your own experience and knowledge. v. 2
In several nations, individuals prefer to do rigorous physical activities and sports. This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantage of a lot of exercises and will agree that the advantages of doing exercise and sports activities outweigh the disadvantages. The disadvantage of doing strict exercises and sports is that people will have sleep disturbances. This is to say, people who do a lot of hard exercises have a hard time in getting sound sleep at night. As a consequence, they will not be mentally active and alert in their office and their overall career and profession will suffer. To exemplify, a recent study conducted by The New York Times showed that more than 60 percent have sleep problems because of strict exercises and sports activities. Despite the few drawbacks the principle advantage of doing a lot of physical exercises and sports activities is that people not only remain active, but also have negligible chances of suffering any physical or mental problems. In other words, physical and sports activities to aid people in reducing the threat of having health problems such as obesity and cardiovascular diseases. As a result, they can lead a healthy lifestyle, thus will not be able to build a prosperous career and future. To elucidate, a recent study conducted by The Times showed that more than 80 percent of people who spend a maximum of their time doing exercises and playing sports do not suffer from any health problems. To conclude, although stringent exercises and athletics causes people to have sleep issues, but the advantage of doing stringent exercise and sports help people to keep themselves fit and healthy. In my opinion, I vehemently agree that the merits outweighs the demerits.
In several nations, individuals prefer to do rigorous
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physical
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activities
and
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sports
. This essay will discuss both the
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advantages
and disadvantage of
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a lot of
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exercises
and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
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advantages
of
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doing
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exercise
and
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sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
outweigh the disadvantages.

The disadvantage of
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doing
strict
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exercises
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is that
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people
will have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
disturbances. This is to say,
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people
who do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
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exercises
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in getting sound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
at night. As a consequence, they will not be mentally active and alert in their office and their
overall
career and profession will suffer. To exemplify, a recent study conducted by The New York
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that more than 60 percent have
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sleep
problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of strict
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exercises
and
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sports
activities.

Despite the few drawbacks the
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principle
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advantage
of
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doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
is that
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people
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
remain active,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
have negligible chances of suffering any
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physical
or mental problems.
In other words
,
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physical
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
to aid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in reducing the threat of having health problems such as obesity and cardiovascular diseases.
As a result
, they can lead a healthy lifestyle,
thus
will not be able to build a prosperous career and future. To elucidate, a recent study conducted by The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that more than 80 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who spend a maximum of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
and playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
do not suffer from any health problems.

To conclude
, although stringent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
and athletics causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
issues,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
stringent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves fit and healthy. In my opinion, I
vehemently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the merits outweighs the demerits.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries people of all ages do sports and exercises a lot. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvanatges? Give reason for your answer and include examples from your own experience and knowledge. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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