Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that money is the best gift teenagers. others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that money is the best gift teenagers. others disagree. v. 1
People often get in a dilemma, when it comes to buying presents for the youth. Due to this, some people think that, instead of giving any other gift money is the best option. While, the other does not agree with this viewpoint. However, I believe that, money is not a better option to give as a gift to teens, because it leads to negative outcomes. To initiate with people, who consider money as a gift over the others forms of gift because, teenagers can be use money according to their needs without any financial difficulties. Foe example, from gifted money, they can be afforded their high tuition fees as well as another study related things. Not only this, but also it is really difficult situation to buy gift for teens according to their choices. So, despite of come across this type of tricky situations, they prefer to give money. On the contrary, the latter view suggests that, minors are not mature enough that they can be utilised money with more advantages. To elaborate, teenagers do not know completely the value of money and it is possible that they waste all money in alcohol, drugs and tobacco. Furthermore, the gift is the purest form of way to express our love to them. For example, young people remember all small things, particularly gift matters a lot to them. This, in turn, bloom a feeling of love, care and special in their minds, which is the most important in their age. To infer and offer my position, I would say that, although money can be fulfilled their financial needs and it is easy to give money without face any confusion while loosing it. Nevertheless, teenage is very sensible age of this age minors need only love, care and they find their happiness from even small gifts.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in a dilemma, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to buying presents for the youth. Due to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that,
instead
of giving any other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the best option.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, the other does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this viewpoint.
However
, I believe that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not a better option to give as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
to teens,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes.

To initiate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
over the others forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
according to their needs without any financial difficulties. Foe example, from gifted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, they can
be afforded
their high tuition fees
as well
as another study related things. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it is
really
difficult situation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
for teens according to their choices.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across this type of tricky situations, they prefer to give money.

On the contrary
, the latter view suggests that, minors are not mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
that they can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
with more advantages. To elaborate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
do not know completely the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and it is possible that they waste all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in alcohol, drugs and tobacco.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
is the purest form of way to express our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to them.
For example
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
remember all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
things,
particularly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
matters a lot to them. This, in turn, bloom a feeling of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, care and special in their minds, which is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in their age.

To infer and offer my position, I would say that, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
be fulfilled
their financial needs and it is easy to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
without face any confusion while loosing it.
Nevertheless
, teenage is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sensible age of this age minors need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
,
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
care and
they find their happiness from even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that money is the best gift teenagers. others disagree. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts