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Describe a place where you go shopping for clothes. You should say: - where it is- how often you shop for clothes - how you choose what to buy- and explain why you choose to go there. v.1

Describe a place where you go shopping for clothes. You should say: - where it is- how often you shop for clothes - how you choose what to buy- and explain why you choose to go there. v. 1
The authority should consume more salary to the railways than roads. Some people think railways are more necessary than ordinary roads. I completely disagree with this perspective and I will explain my viewpoint with examples in this essay. Initially, the ways which suitable for cars are comfortable for everyone. The people can more quickly arrive to the addresses through cars than trains. So it is a first reason. The second one is a driver can stop anywhere, if he or she wants. But with train no one can stop until own stopping time. Because, it has own timeline which is created by government. Therefore many people prefer cars than trains. But, I think the roots of both of them should be repaired and wage should be equally isolated from them. For example, If the railways are more comfortable and good-looking, it is excellent. But, If roads are poor and crooked, it is a very wrongful image. On the other angle, the vehicle system is more increased than the past. So, today we can see a lot of contemporary cars and trains. They don't demand a lot of outgoings. But the country should accommodate their modern routes. If roads will not repair or reconstruct, the population may protest to the government. As I wrote, in more people exist own cars and they don't need to the trains. These kinds of problems should be prevented. Consequently, the country can easily improve with satisfied residents. The state should spend paying for both of them. Additionally, the tourism industry will expand trough these ways, and the tourists may travel with both of the ways. On the whole, neither of the routes are more dominant. They are equal, so government should spend bill evenly with them. All the reasons which I mentioned above the evidence of my disagreement.
The authority should consume more salary to the railways than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
railways are more necessary than ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. I completely disagree with this perspective and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my viewpoint with examples in this essay.

Initially
, the ways which suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are comfortable for everyone. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can more
quickly
arrive to the addresses through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is a
first
reason. The second one is a driver can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
anywhere, if he or she wants.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
no one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
stopping time.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
timeline which
is created
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the roots of both of them should
be repaired
and wage should be
equally
isolated from them.
For example
, If the railways are more comfortable and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
-looking, it is excellent.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are poor and crooked, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
wrongful image.

On the other angle, the vehicle system is more increased than the past.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
. They don't demand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
outgoings.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the country should accommodate their modern routes. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
Consider removing 'will'. (Usually, 'will' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless in the sense 'want to' or 'be willing to'.)
will not repair
or reconstruct, the population may protest to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. As I wrote, in more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
exist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cars and
they don't need to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
. These kinds of problems should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
.
Consequently
, the country can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
with satisfied residents. The state should spend paying for both of them.
Additionally
, the tourism industry will expand trough these ways, and the tourists may travel with both of the ways.

On the whole
, neither of the routes are more dominant. They are equal,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend bill
evenly
with them. All the reasons which I mentioned above the evidence of my disagreement.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe a place where you go shopping for clothes. You should say: - where it is- how often you shop for clothes - how you choose what to buy- and explain why you choose to go there. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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