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Describe a time when you lost something. You should say: - what it was- where and when you lost it - how important it was- and explain what you did to find it when you realized it was missing. v.1

Describe a time when you lost something. You should say: - what it was- where and when you lost it - how important it was- and explain what you did to find it when you realized it was missing. v. 1
The widespread problem of water shortages has been a growing concern in the past few years. There are several causes of this matter, I argue that governments and individuals should have responsibility for addressing the lack of water resources. In the first place, due to the climate change on the earth as the drought happens annually. Many countries have been faced with consequences, for example, there would be likely to be less rainy cause farmers are not able to have enough water for watering crop fields, animals and the poor of the world are able to die if they have not enough water to drink and use. Moreover, many companies and factories have discharged tons of pollutants like toxic waste, plastic material, poison gas into rivers, lakes or the sea. Another reason is overpopulation, which is being more and more serious, and as a result, the demand of water supply has a dramatic increase as well. In the second place, there are a lot of measures to tackle the problem. Governments should pass laws to punish people who wastes the great amount of water and harm the water environment. The related factories and companies must be controlled for what they caused in the natural environment. Besides, individuals should also take responsibility for protecting our environment, encourage the eco-friendly lifestyle and suggest saving drinkable water. This is a challenge to the future of people’s lives. In conclusion, although freshwater resources are being destroyed by a variety of human activities, but I strongly believe that both governments and individuals can reduce the lack of water by many outlined solutions.
The widespread problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
shortages has been a growing concern in the past few years. There are several causes of this matter, I argue that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and individuals should have responsibility for addressing the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
resources.

In the
first
place, due to the climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
on the earth as the drought happens
annually
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries have
been faced
with consequences,
for example
, there would be likely to be less rainy cause farmers are not able to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for watering crop fields, animals and the poor of the world are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
if they have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "watered".
water
to drink and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and factories have discharged tons of pollutants like toxic waste, plastic material, poison gas into rivers, lakes or the sea. Another reason is overpopulation, which is being more and more serious, and
as a result
, the demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
supply has a dramatic increase
as well
.

In the second place, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
measures to tackle the problem.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should pass laws to punish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "waste"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
wastes
the great amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and harm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
environment. The related factories and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be controlled
for what they caused in the natural environment.
Besides
, individuals should
also
take responsibility for protecting our environment, encourage the eco-friendly lifestyle and suggest saving drinkable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. This is a challenge to the future of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, although freshwater resources are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
by a variety of human activities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
strongly
believe that both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and individuals can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
outlined solutions.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe a time when you lost something. You should say: - what it was- where and when you lost it - how important it was- and explain what you did to find it when you realized it was missing. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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