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Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problem, as well as practical problem. To what do you agree or disgree with that. v.1

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problem, as well as practical problem. To what do you agree or disgree with that. v. 1
Many people living in a foreign country for better life and environment. Moving to new countries can cause serious issues in social and in practical life. So, I agree with the statement. But, these problems can be resolved with the passage of time through their cultures and technology. First of all, elaborate about the social problems which are the most common one whenever you move to the abroad because their cultures are entirely different from them. People do not have an ability to make new friends to completely integrate with them through conversation. Not being able to make new acquaintances, but they are also not capable to persuade their managers from their work. For instance, if they would like to go for shopping, most of them do not know how they could buy something. Only one thing is essential to make their social life better listen more that language to make grip over it. The other issue is that most of the immigrants face difficulties in practical scenarios. They are not familiar with different locations, so mostly they suffer to find new places. For example, if a person wants to order something from the online platform, but, unfortunately, he is not having the ability to comprehend his talk to the salesperson. However, the appropriate usage of technology will help them to overcome these difficulties. To conclude, many people spend their lives in different countries. They face there some social as well as practical issues, but most of the humans overcome these problems in a short period of time through technology and conversation with native speakers on a daily basis.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in a foreign country for better life and environment. Moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
countries can cause serious issues in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and in practical life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, these problems can
be resolved
with the passage of time through their cultures and technology.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, elaborate about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
problems which are the most common one whenever you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the abroad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their cultures are
entirely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
do not have an ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends to completely integrate with them through conversation. Not being able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
acquaintances,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
also
not capable to persuade their managers from their work.
For instance
, if they would like to go for shopping, most of them do not know how they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
one thing is essential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life better listen more that language to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
grip over it.

The other issue is that most of the immigrants face difficulties in practical scenarios. They are not familiar with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
locations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
mostly
they suffer to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
places.
For example
, if a person wants to order something from the online platform,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, unfortunately, he is not having the ability to comprehend his talk to the salesperson.
However
, the appropriate usage of technology will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to overcome these difficulties.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries. They face there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
as well
as practical issues,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
most of the humans overcome these problems in a short period of time through technology and conversation with native speakers on a daily basis.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problem, as well as practical problem. To what do you agree or disgree with that. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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