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In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.33

In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. with this opinion? v. 33
These days, many people are loving to eat junk foods which harm to their health. Mostly children and adolescents are addicted to these unhealthy foods. People should follow diet foods that help them lead a good life. Government should also take responsibility of people in their nation, people like in control of the fast food. I totally disagree and I will support my opinion in this essay. Firstly, it is not possible by the government to take care of all of the nation person health issue cause of fast food. People should have their own diet plan to take responsibility of their health. They should know their health conditions, according to that they have to plan their diets. For example, people in India mostly like to eat fast foodstuff like deep fried foods which are very dangerous to the human health and may cause several diseases and may lead to cholesterol and heart problems. People should have better control over their food habit to overcome these health related problems. Secondly, the reason why I disagree with the statement because most of the person's livelihood are depending on these fast food businesses. Take, Mumbai is the largest city with high population, most of the people are in Mumbai have totally depend on the fast food business. If the government suddenly imposes high tax on these foods that will cause severe economic decline of the small business. So government has to take action that should not affect the people in the country. To summarise, Government cannot force people to avoid junk food, although they can do some measure by creating awareness programs. It is totally depending on the people those who are desirous to take care of their health.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The verb 'loving' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are loving
to eat junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
which harm to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Mostly
children and adolescents
are addicted
to these unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should follow diet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them lead a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should
also
take responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their nation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like in control of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
food.

I
totally
disagree and I will support my opinion in this essay.

Firstly
, it is not possible by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to take care of
Consider using "all the".
all of the
nation person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issue cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
diet plan to take responsibility of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. They should know their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
conditions, according to that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
plan their diets.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in India
mostly
like to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
foodstuff like
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
deep fried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to the human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and may cause several diseases and may lead to cholesterol and heart problems.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should have better control over their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
habit to overcome these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
related problems.

Secondly
, the reason why I disagree with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the person's livelihood
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are depending
on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
businesses. Take, Mumbai is the largest city with high population, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in Mumbai have
totally
depend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
business.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
suddenly
imposes high tax on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
that will cause severe economic decline of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
business.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take action that should not affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the country.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
cannot force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to avoid junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, although they can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measure by creating awareness programs. It is
totally
depending on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
those who are desirous to take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
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Rumi

IELTS essay In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. with this opinion? v. 33

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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