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Listening In nature, warm-blooded animals such as mammals and birds need to keep their internal temperatures within a certain range. For most mammals this range is from about 36 to 38 degrees Celsius. Thermoregulation is responsible for maintaining this i v.1

Listening In nature, warm-blooded animals such as mammals and birds need to keep their internal temperatures within a certain range. For most mammals this range is from about 36 to 38 degrees Celsius. Thermoregulation is responsible for maintaining this i v. 1
It is important to consider the main function of tertiary institutions. While some believe that the aim of the university should be to grant access to knowledge for its own sake, I will argue that the central function of the university should be to equip graduates with the practical skills and theoretical knowledge required to succeed in the work environment. To begin with, one reason why I am in agreement that the main aim of the university should be to produce competent graduates ready to fit into the industries is that the employee will find it much easier to work in the specific industry having done most of the practical and theoretical work while in school. For example, an aerospace engineer from Stanford University, having been equipped with the skills and knowledge will not have much problems working in the aerospace industries. However, if graduates are not equipped with the ability to function effectively upon graduation, then there will be a shortage of skill labour and as a consequence, low productivity. Furthermore, another reason why I agree completely is that the university should be able to produce competent researcher to work in research institutes. For instance, these researchers should be able provide vaccines that can be able to cure diseases like the ongoing research being conducted on the Ebola disease. In contrast, if the university is unable to produce competent researchers, hence the world will be plagued with many diseases without a cure, as a result there will be many lost of lives. In conclusion, due to the importance of equipping graduates and researchers with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace to perform effectively, I believe that under no circumstance should the university deviate from this.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consider the main function of tertiary institutions. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that the aim of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
should be to grant access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
for its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
sake, I will argue that the central function of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
should be to equip
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
with the practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
required to succeed in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one reason why I am in agreement that the main aim of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
should be to produce competent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
ready to fit into the industries is that the employee will find it much easier to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the specific industry having done most of the practical and theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
while in school.
For example
, an aerospace engineer from Stanford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
, having
been equipped
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
will not have
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
problems working in the aerospace industries.
However
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
are not equipped with the ability to function
effectively
upon graduation, then there will be a shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
and as a consequence, low productivity.

Furthermore
, another reason why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
completely is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
should be able to produce competent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researcher
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in research institutes.
For instance
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researchers
should be
The preposition 'to' is required in front of the verb 'provide'.
able provide
vaccines that can be able to cure diseases like the ongoing research
being conducted
on the Ebola disease.
In contrast
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is unable to produce competent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researchers
,
hence
the world will
be plagued
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases without a cure,
as a result
there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
lost of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, due to the importance of equipping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researchers
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
needed in the workplace to perform
effectively
, I believe that under no circumstance should the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
deviate from this.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Listening In nature, warm-blooded animals such as mammals and birds need to keep their internal temperatures within a certain range. For most mammals this range is from about 36 to 38 degrees Celsius. Thermoregulation is responsible for maintaining this i v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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