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Question: Do you prefer a friend who is similar to you or different from you? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

Question: Do you prefer a friend who is similar to you or different from you? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Incremental sales of familiar consumer products point towards the strength of advertising rather than the actual requirement of the society. In my opinion, people are carried away by the advert which results in increased sales of consumer goods. On the one hand, people buy products based on the information that they gather from an advert and overlook the usefulness of the product. Due to this trend, companies are selling more and more. In such cases, a massive publicity campaign drives the selling power. For example, sales of a protein powder increased exponentially during the last 3 years, from 2016 to 2019, as a result of massive advertising program acted by Tiger woods. People bought the product because it was endorsed by a famous celebrity and never reviewed the usefulness of the product before purchasing. On the other hand, certain consumer goods have increasing sales as they are the necessity of humans. These materials do not have any kind of publicity. Rather, People buy the products as it is a daily requirement, and nobody needs to drive the people in buying it. Toothpaste, for instance, had an amazing increase in sales despite no advertising. This shows that people review and buy their products after the careful distinction between need and luxury. In conclusion, it can be seen that people are primarily, driven by advertisements which result in increased sales of consumer goods because a celebrity has endorsed the product or information gathered directly from the advert. However, there are a few people who buy goods only based on need and do not rely on any sorts of advertisement.
Incremental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of familiar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
point towards the strength of advertising
rather
than the actual requirement of the society. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are carried
away by the advert which results in increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
based on the information that they gather from an advert and overlook the usefulness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. Due to this trend,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are selling more and more. In such cases, a massive publicity campaign drives the selling power.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of a protein powder increased
exponentially
during the last 3 years, from 2016 to 2019,
as a result
of massive advertising program acted by
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Tiger woods
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
was endorsed
by a
Consider using "celebrity".
famous celebrity
and never reviewed the usefulness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
purchasing.

On the other hand
, certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
have increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
as they are the necessity of humans. These materials do not have any kind of publicity.
Rather
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
as it is a daily requirement, and nobody needs to drive the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in buying it. Toothpaste,
for instance
, had an amazing increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
despite no advertising. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
review and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
after the careful distinction between need and luxury.

In conclusion
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
primarily
, driven by advertisements which result in increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a celebrity has endorsed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
or information gathered
directly
from the advert.
However
, there are a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
based on need and do not rely on any sorts of advertisement.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Question: Do you prefer a friend who is similar to you or different from you? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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