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Life is now better that it was 100 years ago. v.1

Life is now better that it was 100 years ago. v. 1
It is certainly true that there has been a huge change that took place in our ways of living with the time and it is now more developed and convenient than the past. Although I agree with the given statement but I do not agree completely. In my point of view, both of times have their own significances and people are similarly enjoyed and suffered in both eras. First of all, regarding the past, a century ago people probably had a peaceful life. At that time, the proportion of crimes was significantly low. For example, folks usually lived in their community despite having any fear of burglary, stealing, kidnaping or terrorist attacks, which are the most common incidences at present. Secondly, a century ago, there was no problem of traffic congestions, as there were very negligible numbers of four wheelers running on British roads. Moreover, during that time family bonds were very strong. Such as, there was almost zero incidence of family breakdown while nowadays it is remarked as one kind of tradition. In the present time, there is an improved lifestyle and this mostly enjoyed by the city people. This is due to the advent of modern technology. For instance, the internet brings people together and makes their work faster where within a millisecond people can send their message to people of another part of the world. To add with, health facilities have developed in such a way that, death ratio is remarkably low in developed countries because saving the life has now become very easy. To conclude, I believe that, both of the eras bear its importance. In one hand, people are living in a high-tech era, where every single comfort is now in their hand but at the same time, family bonds are loosening gradually. On the other hand, a century ago, people lived a fearless and enjoyable life but without the lights of technological comfort and advent.
It is
certainly
true that there has been a huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
that took place in our ways of living with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
more developed and convenient than the past. Although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
completely. In my point of view, both of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
significances
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
similarly
enjoyed and suffered in both eras.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, regarding the past, a century ago
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
probably
had a peaceful life. At that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, the proportion of crimes was
significantly
low.
For example
, folks
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in their community despite having any fear of burglary, stealing,
Possible spelling mistake found.
kidnaping
or terrorist attacks, which are the most common incidences at present.
Secondly
, a century ago, there was no problem of traffic congestions, as there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
negligible numbers of four
Possible spelling mistake found.
wheelers
running on British roads.
Moreover
, during that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
family bonds were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strong. Such as, there was almost zero incidence of family breakdown while nowadays it
is remarked
as one kind of tradition.

In the present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, there is an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
lifestyle and this
mostly
enjoyed by the city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This is due to the advent of modern technology.
For instance
, the internet brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their work faster where within a millisecond
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their message to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of another part of the world. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
with, health facilities have developed in such a way that, death ratio is
remarkably
low in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
saving the life has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy.

To conclude
, I believe that, both of the eras bear its importance. In one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living in a high-tech era, where every single comfort is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
in their hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, family bonds are loosening
gradually
.
On the other hand
, a century ago,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
a fearless and enjoyable life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
without the lights of technological comfort and advent.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Life is now better that it was 100 years ago. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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