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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. People today have healthier lifestyle than people did 100 years ago. v.56

People today have healthier lifestyle than people did 100 years ago. v. 56
There are many factors that influence our career options as humans. It is believed by many that earning a large salary rank highest in terms of factors to consider before making that choice. This essay agrees that a high income should be the ultimate reason to choose a profession, as this is necessary to cater for a family and also to remain interested and satisfied with the job. Firstly, as a working class adult, it is your duty to provide for the family financially. This is why having a craft that pays handsomely is a necessity. For instance, in Nigeria, the country with one of the highest inflation rate in the world, providing a three square meal for a small-sized family is becoming increasingly expensive, which means a high paying job is needed to survive in such a country. Hence, the importance of a high wage job. Another reason a sizeable salary is considered the most important is because of job satisfaction. In other words, most people are excited and satisfied with their career only when they are paid well. For example, The New York Times report on job satisfactory index in 2018, showed that 96% of workers in the high-pay bracket experience a higher degree of job satisfaction than other workers in the study. Thus, showing the direct correlation between job satisfaction and an excellent wage. In conclusion, this essay agrees with the popular opinion that a high pay is the most crucial factor when deciding a career path. This was proven by showing that job satisfaction and financial stability are the major perks derived from a high income occupation.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors that influence our career options as humans. It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that earning a large salary rank highest in terms of factors to consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making that choice. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
income should be the ultimate reason to choose a profession, as this is necessary to cater for a family and
also
to remain interested and satisfied with the job.

Firstly
, as a working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
adult, it is your duty to provide for the family
financially
. This is why having a craft that pays
handsomely
is a necessity.
For instance
, in Nigeria, the country with one of the highest inflation rate in the world, providing a three square meal for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
-sized family is becoming
increasingly
expensive, which means a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is needed
to survive in such a country.
Hence
, the importance of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
wage job.

Another reason a sizeable salary
is considered
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
.
In other words
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are excited
and satisfied with their career
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when they
are paid
well.
For example
, The New York Times report on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfactory index in 2018,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 96% of workers in the high-pay bracket experience a higher degree of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
than other workers in the study.
Thus
, showing the direct correlation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
and an excellent wage.

In conclusion
, this essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the popular opinion that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
pay is the most crucial factor when deciding a career path. This
was proven
by showing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
and financial stability are the major perks derived from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
income occupation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay People today have healthier lifestyle than people did 100 years ago. v. 56

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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