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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? people today have healthier lifestyles than people from 100 years ago. v.87

people today have healthier lifestyles than people from 100 years ago. v. 87
It is thought by some individuals that leisure time should be spent freely, while others are of the opinion that, activities such as games and reading can enhance the mind during free hours. Though, it is essential to occupy the mind, rest is of utmost importance, as this is associated with good health. In my opinion, they mind should be occupied with productive activities as this results in greater efficiency. The ability to engage the mind in activities such as word puzzles and reading of journals during a free period is essential. As this results in benefits of mental clarity, improved reasoning, focus and apt decision making. The mind becomes increasingly productive. For instance, a friend of mine, who started playing the game of chess in his prime, improved over time, won the chess medal and became more efficient in other spheres of life. Hence, engaging the mind in periods when one is less active brings about increased efficiency and effectiveness. On the other hand, mind rest during free periods is golden, as this is associated with mental and physical health. It is documented by world Health Organisation that 90 to 95% of workers who take periodic break are mentally sound. As this free occasions are very restful and prepares them for the tasks ahead. For example, my dad occasionally travels out the UK, a break he takes to bare his mind off work, academics and games, returns back mentally relaxed and healthier. Thus, the mind can be left bare occasionally. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that engaging the mind in activities at leisure break is of utmost importance as it increases the output of the mind. Nevertheless, mind rest should be done sparingly.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals that leisure time should
be spent
freely
, while others are of the opinion that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as games and reading can enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
hours. Though, it is essential to occupy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
, rest is of utmost importance, as this
is associated
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health. In my opinion, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
should
be occupied
with productive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
as this results in greater efficiency.

The ability to engage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as word puzzles and reading of journals during a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
period is essential. As this results in benefits of mental clarity,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
reasoning, focus and apt
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
becomes
increasingly
productive.
For instance
, a friend of mine, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
playing the game of chess in his prime,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
over time, won the chess medal and became more efficient in other spheres of life.
Hence
, engaging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
in periods when one is less active brings about increased efficiency and effectiveness.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
rest during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
periods is golden, as this
is associated
with mental and physical health. It
is documented
by world Health
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
that 90 to 95% of workers who take periodic break are mentally sound. As this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
occasions are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
restful and prepares them for the tasks ahead.
For example
, my dad
occasionally
travels out the UK, a break he takes to bare his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
off work, academics and games,
Consider using "returns".
returns back
mentally relaxed and healthier.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
bare
occasionally
.

In conclusion
, I am of the opinion that engaging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
at leisure break is of utmost importance as it increases the output of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
rest should
be done
sparingly
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay people today have healthier lifestyles than people from 100 years ago. v. 87

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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