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Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption while others think that it is individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views v.9

Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption while others think that it is individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. 9
Consumption of sugary products often leads to obesity. While some believe that the government has to play a crucial role in regulating their consumption, others often believe that it is the responsibility of an individual to be aware of a healthy nutrition. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument in detail. Firstly, usage of sugary drinks can be discouraged by imposing heavy taxes on them by governments. The addition of higher taxes on a product would increase its retail price and thereby cause a financial bottleneck to the customer. For example, taxing products like coca-cola, which is often treated to be the cause of obesity, would let customers to select drinks that are healthy. On the supporting side, government can provide additional subsidies for healthy choices, encouraging the customer to include them in their grocery shopping. For instance, subsiding foods like avocados would promote higher sales and thereby provide the consumer with a healthy alternative. Therefore, administration role is vital in regulating how sugary foods get to the users. However, the responsibility of eating a healthy foods lie with the end customer. People opting for healthy foods are less prone to health problems. Moreover, reducing daily sugar intake has been one of the key factors of reduced cholesterol as per a recent study conducted by the FDA. To illustrate, diseases like diabetes, heart attack is reduced by the intake of healthy diet low in sugars. In addition to diet, active lifestyle promotes the positive body mass index and thereby reduces obesity. For instance, one who exercises regularly has optimal weight when compared to someone who doesn't. Hence, a healthy food recipe and active style promote overall well-being. In conclusion, although the government has a role to play in restricting access to sugary foods, it is the equal responsibility of the consumer to make healthier choices.
Consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugary
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads to obesity. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
play a crucial role in regulating their consumption, others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believe that it is the responsibility of an individual to be aware of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
nutrition. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument in detail.

Firstly
, usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugary
drinks can
be discouraged
by imposing heavy taxes on them by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
. The addition of higher taxes on a product would increase its retail price and thereby cause a financial bottleneck to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
.
For example
, taxing products like coca-cola, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
treated to be the cause of obesity, would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
to select drinks that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
. On the supporting side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can provide additional subsidies for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
choices, encouraging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
to include them in their grocery shopping.
For instance
, subsiding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
like avocados would promote higher sales and thereby provide the consumer with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
alternative.
Therefore
, administration role is vital in regulating how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to the users.

However
, the responsibility of eating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "food"?
foods
lie with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
opting for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are less prone to health problems.
Moreover
, reducing daily sugar intake has been one of the key factors of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
cholesterol as per a recent study conducted by the FDA. To illustrate, diseases like diabetes, heart attack is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by the intake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet low in sugars.
In addition
to diet, active lifestyle promotes the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
body mass index and thereby
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
obesity.
For instance
, one who exercises
regularly
has optimal weight when compared to someone who doesn't.
Hence
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
recipe and active style promote
overall
well-being.

In conclusion
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has a role to play in restricting access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, it is the equal responsibility of the consumer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
healthier choices.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption while others think that it is individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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