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Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and what solutions can be suggested? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. v.6

Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and what solutions can be suggested? v. 6
The last few years have experienced burgeoning growth in the youth crime level. Lack of parental guidance, peer pressure and unemployment are the main reasons for this. There are a number of effective solutions to reduce the number of youth convicts. One main reason for young people contemplating crime is because they are not guided properly either by parents or by teachers. For example, if the family and school teach them to shun criminal and anti-social behaviour, the crime level can be reduced. Another point to consider is that peer groups exert enormous influence in the behaviour of young people. When a person is with the peer group, they only pay scant attention to the outcome of a crime and, therefore, commit unpremeditated crime. Finally, because of the fierce competition in the job market, young people find it so hard to find a job and meet their needs. This encourages them to commit crimes such as pick-pocketing and holding a person for ransom. There are a numerous solutions to tackle this problem. Firstly, more police on the beat can put off people from committing crime. If people are aware of the consequences of committing a crime, they will be put off from doing it. Secondly, the government should introduce training program to ensure that more people are getting employed. For instance, the convicts who are unemployed are more in number when compared to people with job and they mostly commit crime for catering their basic needs. In conclusion, improving employment opportunities as well as enforcing law and order can put off people from committing crime.
The last few years have experienced burgeoning growth in the youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
level. Lack of parental guidance, peer pressure and unemployment are the main reasons for this. There are a number of effective solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of youth convicts.

One main reason for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
contemplating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not guided
properly
either by parents or by teachers.
For example
, if the family and school teach them to shun criminal and anti-social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
level can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. Another point to consider is that peer groups exert enormous influence in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. When a person is with the peer group, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
pay scant attention to the outcome of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and,
therefore
, commit unpremeditated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the fierce competition in the job market, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find a job and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their needs. This encourages them to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
such as pick-pocketing and holding a person for ransom.

There are a numerous
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "solution"?
solutions
to tackle this problem.
Firstly
, more police on the beat can put off
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are aware of the consequences of committing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, they will
be put
off from doing it.
Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should introduce training program to ensure that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting employed.
For instance
, the convicts who
are unemployed
are more in number when compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
job and
they
mostly
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
for catering their basic needs.

In conclusion
, improving employment opportunities
as well
as enforcing law and order can put off
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and what solutions can be suggested? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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