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levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. what are the reasons for this and suggest some possible solutions. v.1

levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. what are the reasons for this and suggest some possible solutions. v. 1
The crime rate among youth is indeed increasing at an alarming rate in many countries worldwide. This essay will examine the causes of this problem and suggest some possible solutions to combat levels of youth crime. The main reason behind the rise in youth offence is that parents are unable to nurture their kids well as they are too busy with their job and have no time to talk to their children. As a result, with time they will indulge themselves in evil activities such as gambling and kidnapping, showing parents are unaware of the company their kids are keeping outside their home. Another factor is the rise in unemployment in youth, meaning they have a high qualification but are still jobless. For example, a city in Pakistan, Karachi, and pickpocketing and snatching expensive things over gunpoint has become so common and to fulfill the basic needs such as to own a house or start a family, youngsters have no choice but to earn by illegal means. There are some possible solutions associated with the rampant increase in youth crime. First and foremost, parents should spare some time after work to acknowledge their children about manners. In other words, the parent must guide them. This will encourage them to give more time to studies instead of harming others. Secondly, it is the government’s responsibility to create a job market for new graduates every year. For instance, by affiliating youth with a company for a year so that they can gain experience to start their career as well as providing small grants to start any business. In this way, parents and government could collectively safeguard the rights of youth. In conclusion, the factors responsible for youth crime are unemployment and parent’s negligence, however, these issues can be minimized if the government creates jobs for masses and parents’ monitor their children from an early age.
The crime rate among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
is
indeed
increasing at an alarming rate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries worldwide. This essay will examine the causes of this problem and suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solutions to combat levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
crime.

The main reason behind the rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are unable to nurture their kids well as they are too busy with their job and have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to talk to their children.
As a result
, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they will indulge themselves in evil activities such as gambling and kidnapping, showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are unaware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
their kids are keeping outside their home. Another factor is the rise in unemployment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
, meaning they have a high qualification
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are
still
jobless.
For example
, a city in Pakistan, Karachi, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
pickpocketing
and snatching expensive things over gunpoint has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
common and to fulfill the basic needs such as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a family, youngsters have no choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to earn by illegal means.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solutions associated with the rampant increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
crime.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should spare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
after work to acknowledge their children about manners.
In other words
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
guide them. This will encourage them to give more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to studies
instead
of harming others.
Secondly
, it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s responsibility to create a job market for new graduates every year.
For instance
, by affiliating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for a year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can gain experience to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their career
as well
as providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
grants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
any business. In this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could
collectively
safeguard the rights of youth.

In conclusion
, the factors responsible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
crime are unemployment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
negligence,
however
, these issues can
be minimized
if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
creates jobs for masses and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
monitor their children from an early age.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. what are the reasons for this and suggest some possible solutions. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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