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Face-to-face communication is better than other types of communications, such as letters, emails, or telephone calls. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v.1

Face-to-face communication is better than other types of communications, such as letters, emails, or telephone calls. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 1
There is an adage that says “health is wealth”, for the individual to be in good state of well being is paramount. So therefore, the availability of emergency services is expected in most countries, even though, the modern technology may not be provided. This essay will discuss the likely causes and basic services need to be rendered in most state hospitals. Firstly, most people denied themselves of getting medical care because they are financially incapable, they rather employ self medication and use available fund to meet other basic needs. Also, the distance of available hospital discourages them due to lack of cash. Ignorance is another factor that affects people from visiting the clinic because they are not enlightened enough, this thus affect the population of the country. However, If the government can render basic medical services in management of common diseases such as hyperthermia, malaria, maternal care, communicable disease like tuberculosis and first and in all primary institutions (the health centre) will reduce the mortality and morbidity rate to a minimal level. For example, pregnant women about to deliver will be attended to, and any case needing the attention of a specialist or sophisticated medical equipment for further test like Laparoscope, MRI (Magnetic Resonance Index) will be transferred to more equipped hospitals because these equipments are expensive to maintain and purchase, so few are available, and specialist are many. In conclusion, the implementation of fundamental medical treatment this increases the productivity and give good census to the state. I strongly support the opinion of free medical schemes for better future of our younger generation and the Nation.
There is an adage that says “health is wealth”, for the individual to be in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
state of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
is paramount.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
therefore
, the availability of emergency services is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
in most countries,
even though
, the modern technology may not
be provided
. This essay will discuss the likely causes and basic services need to
be rendered
in most state hospitals.

Firstly
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
denied themselves of getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
care
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
financially
incapable, they
rather
employ self medication and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
available fund to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
other basic needs.
Also
, the distance of available hospital discourages them due to lack of cash. Ignorance is another factor that affects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from visiting the clinic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not enlightened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, this
thus
affect the population of the country.

However
, If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can render basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
services in management of common diseases such as hyperthermia, malaria, maternal care, communicable disease like tuberculosis and
first
and in all primary institutions (the health
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
) will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the mortality and morbidity rate to a minimal level.
For example
, pregnant women about to deliver will
be attended
to, and any case needing the attention of a specialist or sophisticated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
equipment for
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
like Laparoscope, MRI (Magnetic Resonance Index) will
be transferred
to more equipped hospitals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these equipments are expensive to maintain and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
few are available, and specialist are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.

In conclusion
, the implementation of fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
treatment this increases the productivity and give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
census to the state. I
strongly
support the opinion of free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
schemes for better future of our younger generation and the Nation.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Face-to-face communication is better than other types of communications, such as letters, emails, or telephone calls. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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