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Leaders and directors in organizations are often older people. Some people say that younger people could be leaders. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is true that higher positions are usually held by older members in an organization, but some people argue that it would be better if the leaders are younger people. While I accept that there are some important qualities in old individuals, I believe that younger ones are more likely to become better leaders. On the one hand, elderly people can be good leaders for some reasons. Firstly, because they have worked for many years, hence they have accumulated much more work experience. It might therefore help them make wiser decisions and tackle many problems easily. Secondly, it is clear that old leaders are often respected by others. This gives rise to the power in their voice within the company, facilitating their work management. On the other hand, I believe it will be better if young people take up the important positions. The first reason is that younger directors have much more advantages of physical strength than older ones. Therefore, they always have energy to work and can withstand the pressure from their job. Additionally, the dynamism and creativity which are difficult to see in an old age are always the specific characteristics of the young, so it brings a wide range of benefits for the organizations having young leaders. For example, a younger manager is able to come up with newer business strategies for the improvement of the sale of the company. In conclusion, although old individuals can be good leaders, it seems to me that high positions should be given to younger ones.
It is true that higher positions are
usually
held by older members in an organization,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that it would be better if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. While I accept that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
qualities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
individuals, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
are more likely to become better leaders.

On the one hand, elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have worked for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years,
hence
they have accumulated much more work experience. It might
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
wiser decisions and tackle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems
easily
.
Secondly
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
respected by others. This gives rise to the power in their voice within the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, facilitating their work management.

On the other hand
, I believe it will be better if young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take up the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
positions. The
first
reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
directors have much more advantages of physical strength than older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
Therefore
, they always have energy to work and can withstand the pressure from their job.
Additionally
, the dynamism and creativity which are difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age are always the specific characteristics of the young,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it brings a wide range of benefits for the organizations having young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
manager is able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with newer business strategies for the improvement of the sale of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
individuals can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
, it seems to me that high positions should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
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IELTS essay Leaders and directors in an organization are normally older people. Some people think that younger leaders would be better than old leaders.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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