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Technology is becoming increasingly prevalent in the modern world. Given time, technology will completely replace the teacher in the classroom. Analyse both sides of this argument. v.1

Technology is becoming increasingly prevalent in the modern world. Given time, technology will completely replace the teacher in the classroom. Analyse both sides of this argument. v. 1
In the last few decades, technology has become integral part of our life. It has reached to classrooms. Many opine that, technology will replace methodological learning in foresees future, but I strongly believed that manual study should be continued. Firstly, an online tutoring enables distance learning for overseas students. However, it not only provide incomplete information, but also leave students with confusion. Since, it will be a pupil convenience programme, there will be a lack of concentration along with reduction in sincerity towards the education. It will become by-product of the learning process where superficial details being imparted by the institutes. As well as, distance education is not accepted by various companies while hiring candidates. Secondly, there are numerous videos and application of computers and smartphones are being used by parents and students for easy and fast erudition. Nonetheless, it can mislead students and they can be left with utter confusion. Besides, those materials will never be able to take place of the teacher who are an epitome knowledge provider. Furthermore, students with the varied assimilation capacity requires physical teachers who can simplify or modify concept for better understanding. Thirdly, Robotic instructor with acclaimed aptitude will make non-human classes possible in near future. But students require watchful eyes as well assured grasp of facts from books which can only be delivered by human mentor. Lastly, to conclude, I strongly believed that, acquaintance of technological data can be used by students as part of additional material for an understanding of the concepts but the same should not allowed to replace human tutor.
In the last few decades, technology has become integral part of our life. It has reached to classrooms.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
opine that, technology will replace methodological learning in foresees future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
strongly
believed that manual study should
be continued
.

Firstly
, an online tutoring enables distance learning for overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
However
, it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide incomplete information,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with confusion. Since, it will be a pupil convenience
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
, there will be a lack of concentration along with reduction in sincerity towards the education. It will become by-product of the learning process where superficial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
being imparted
by the institutes.
As well
as, distance education is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
while hiring candidates.

Secondly
, there are numerous videos and application of computers and smartphones are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for easy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
erudition. Nonetheless, it can mislead
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
students and
they can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with utter confusion.
Besides
, those materials will never be able to take place of the teacher who are an epitome knowledge provider.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with the varied assimilation capacity requires physical teachers who can simplify or modify concept for better understanding.

Thirdly
, Robotic instructor with acclaimed aptitude will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
non-human classes possible in near future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
require watchful eyes
as well
assured grasp of facts from books which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be delivered
by human mentor.

Lastly
,
to conclude
, I
strongly
believed that, acquaintance of technological data can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as part of additional material for an understanding of the concepts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the same should not
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "allow"
allowed
to replace human tutor.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay Technology is becoming increasingly prevalent in the modern world. Given time, technology will completely replace the teacher in the classroom. Analyse both sides of this argument. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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