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Larger proportions of people live and work in other countries today than at any time in the past. It is probable that in the future there will be no borders and people will be able to move freely between countries. v.1

Larger proportions of people live and work in other countries today than at any time in the past. It is probable that in the future there will be no borders and people will be able to move freely between countries. v. 1
Yes, it is true that a large percentage of people today live and work in other nations compared to the past. However, it doesn’t imply that  people would be able to move freely between nations in the future and countries will be borderless. Just forget about the free commute between nations, it is even not possible within a country. Let us take the example of India. There are many youngsters who leave their native towns to work in metro cities to earn a good living for their family. However, they are not readily accepted by the city. The priority is always given to local residents who have knowledge of local people, traditions, and what works well in a particular city. The outsiders are considered only when there is a need. When it comes to acceptance, let us get back to the time of financial crisis. At that time, the first people to lose their jobs were the people who came to work in the U. S. from other nations. The various nations are implementing even more restrictive and stringent immigration policies. Such measures are being imposed at precisely the same time when migration to other nations has become an increasingly vital part of people’s plans for getting access to life resources. Before even we think of no borders, it is essential to eradicate the other problems related to immigration. The spousal visa holders, renewable working permits and other temporary visas that face several challenges are often suspended in future with people stuck in devastating consequences. To conclude, due to the prevailing cultural and economic diversities, and safety issues, the borders will continue to exist in the future.
Yes, it is true that a large percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
compared to the past.
However
, it doesn’t imply that
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
freely
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
in the future and countries will be borderless.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
forget about the free commute between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, it is even not possible within a country.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us take the example of India. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their native towns to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in metro cities to earn a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
living for their family.
However
, they are not
readily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by the city. The priority is always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to local residents who have knowledge of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, traditions, and what works well in a particular city.

The outsiders
are considered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when there is a need. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to acceptance,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back to the time of financial crisis. At that time, the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to lose their jobs were the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who came to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the U. S. from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations.

The various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are implementing even more restrictive and stringent immigration policies. Such measures are
being imposed
at
precisely
the same time when migration to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
has become an
increasingly
vital part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
plans for getting access to life resources.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
The comma is probably missing here: "even, we".
even we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of no borders, it is essential to eradicate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
problems related to immigration. The spousal visa holders, renewable working permits and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
temporary visas that face several challenges are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
suspended in future with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stuck in devastating consequences.

To conclude
, due to the prevailing cultural and economic diversities, and safety issues, the borders will continue to exist in the future.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Larger proportions of people live and work in other countries today than at any time in the past. It is probable that in the future there will be no borders and people will be able to move freely between countries. v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
277 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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