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A large proportion of people live and work in other countries today than at any time in the past. it is very proble that in the future there will be no borders and people will be freely between countries. To what extent do you agree with this opinion. v.1

A large proportion of people live and work in other countries today than at any time in the past. it is very proble that in the future there will be no borders and people will be freely between countries. v. 1
Restricting information for some vague security reasons is not democratic or rational according to some while others express that information should be available only when the necessity arrives. Both views have some justification, and I firmly believe that scientific studies, universities, research institutions and businesses can benefit the whole nation if all information is made accessible to them. To begin with, sensitive information, that could be used to breach security, manipulate the stock market, create a market monopoly or trade with terrorists, should be scrutinized before making them publicly accessible. In this digital era, information spread like wildfire and for the sake of maintaining global peace, they should be delimited, according to many. For instance, if nuclear technology is shared by all nations for scientific studies, the world will soon stand on the verge of obliteration, despite an inconceivable possibility this technology possesses to facilitate all nations. On the contrary, scientific research largely depends on available data and previous discoveries. If valuable information and past findings are not shared openly with academics and researchers, global progress will become standstill. For instance, the Internet is probably the most significant invention the modern world has seen and if this technology had not been shared by the US military, we would still be living in the pre-internet era. Moreover, restricted information has no value if they are not used to solve any real-world problem and thus curbing them is like imprisoning human potential. Finally, world history suggests that humankind has advanced due to discoveries and inventions shared with the world as each finding went through profound modification and advancement. I thus personally favour the ideology that supports 'free information for all'. In conclusion, information has limited value when it is restrained and not shared. For the true global progress, restriction on valuable information should be debarred and let people know the truth instead of keeping them in darkness.
Restricting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
vague security reasons is not democratic or rational according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
while others express that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should be available
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when the necessity arrives. Both views have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
justification, and I
firmly
believe that scientific studies, universities, research institutions and businesses can benefit the whole nation if all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is made
accessible to them.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, sensitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, that could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to breach security, manipulate the stock market, create a market monopoly or trade with terrorists, should
be scrutinized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making them
publicly
accessible. In this digital era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
spread like wildfire and for the sake of maintaining global peace, they should
be delimited
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
For instance
, if nuclear technology is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
by all nations for scientific studies, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
stand on the verge of obliteration, despite an inconceivable possibility this technology possesses to facilitate all nations.

On the contrary
, scientific research
largely
depends on available data and previous discoveries. If valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and past findings are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
openly
with academics and researchers, global progress will become standstill.
For instance
, the Internet is
probably
the most significant invention the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
and if this technology had not been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
by the US military, we would
still
be living in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-internet
era.
Moreover
, restricted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
has no value if they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to solve any real-world problem and
thus
curbing them is like imprisoning human potential.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
history suggests that humankind has advanced due to discoveries and inventions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
as each finding went through profound modification and advancement. I
thus
personally
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
the ideology that supports 'free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
for all'.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
has limited value when it
is restrained
and not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
. For the true global progress, restriction on valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should
be debarred
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
know the truth
instead
of keeping them in darkness.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay A large proportion of people live and work in other countries today than at any time in the past. it is very proble that in the future there will be no borders and people will be freely between countries. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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