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Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products? v.5

Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products? v. 5
It is obvious nowadays that multi-million organizations are splurging on advertising campaigns and purchasers seem to lean towards the products of giants rather than local ones. Not only does this phenomenon lead to unfairness in the market but the survival of regional companies is also threatened. Supports from the government and changes in consumer behaviour might be a solution to this issue. To begin with, it is believed that large companies are creating a state of disorder due to their monopoly of products on the market. This consequently creates a downward spiral in which the manipulation of these giants leads to the collapse of local businesses and then to unemployment. For example, the domination of smartphones manufactured by Apple and Samsung in Vietnam recently have resulted in the survival of no indigenous smartphone brands, which means a large amount of money has to be splashed out in order to import these products to fulfil the need of customers. Thus, unfairness is obviously a setback of this trend. Measures to tackle this issue include the intervention from both government and consumers. In order to avoid any monopoly from giants, the authorities should protect small business by providing them subsidies. In addition, barriers can be put up and special tariffs have to be taken into account to limit the amount of imported products that may corner the market. However, it must be acknowledged that backing from the government is only part of the equation. It is advisable that customers also have to take action. By changing their preferences towards products made by local companies and abiding by the anti-trust laws, purchasers are exercising their social responsibility and to a certain extent, they are playing a part in developing the local economy. In conclusion, by establishing a marketing and promotion schemes, large organizations are having a tendency to monopolize the market and adversely affect the development of local companies. In order to counteract this trend, not only should laws and taxes be implemented by the government but consumers also have to change their shopping habits in a way that favour homegrown products.
It is obvious nowadays that multi-million organizations are splurging on advertising campaigns and purchasers seem to lean towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of giants
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
ones. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does this phenomenon lead to unfairness in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the survival of regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
is
also
threatened. Supports from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in consumer
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
might be a solution to this issue.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it
is believed
that large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are creating a state of disorder due to their monopoly of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
. This
consequently
creates a downward spiral in which the manipulation of these giants leads to the collapse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
businesses and then to unemployment.
For example
, the domination of smartphones manufactured by Apple and Samsung in Vietnam recently have resulted in the survival of no indigenous smartphone brands, which means a large amount of money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be splashed
out in order to import these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to fulfil the need of customers.
Thus
, unfairness is
obviously
a setback of this trend.

Measures to tackle this issue include the intervention from both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and consumers. In order to avoid any monopoly from giants, the authorities should protect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
business by providing them subsidies.
In addition
, barriers can
be put
up and special tariffs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be taken
into account to limit the amount of imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that may corner the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
.
However
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be acknowledged
that backing from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
part of the equation. It is advisable that customers
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take action. By changing their preferences towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
made by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and abiding by the anti-trust laws, purchasers are exercising their social responsibility and to a certain extent, they are playing a part in developing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
economy.

In conclusion
, by establishing a marketing and promotion schemes, large organizations are having a tendency to monopolize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
and
adversely
affect the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. In order to counteract this trend, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
should laws and taxes
be implemented
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
consumers
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their shopping habits in a way that
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
homegrown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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