Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? v.20

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? v. 20
In this epoch, the humans of different countries having a great multitude of adolescents in comparison with the senior citizens. I personally believe that, a young generation is the workforce of any state and they play a crucial role in the process of development. However, they are so energetic and if someone cannot utilize it, this leads towards the wrong side, which is really a perilous situation in that country. Undoubtedly, the elderly mankind knows about the culture, traditions more than the middle-aged humans. In addition, they have a profound knowledge pertaining to several things because they spend many hours on them. While, the new generation does not contain that much information. For instance, according to a recent research, which revealed that the inhabitants of Thailand have forgotten their norms. The primary reason of this, they have 80% adolescents and old folks are present in a small percentage. So, no one is there to elaborate and grasp them about their rituals. Moreover, if the middle-aged people do not secure a job, then they move towards the evil side and commit a crime, which become a critical condition for any nation. Nevertheless, the senior citizen of a society are not healthy, they suffer from different diseases and a huge proportion of GDPA outlay for them. On the other hand, the human range from the age 19-35 are proactive, they are so muscular and actively boost the economy of any country. For example, a survey conducted by the statistics department, which highlighted that multinational firms have interests in a youth, because they know that, they have a potential, which they require. Furthermore, they also earn an honour for their countries by participating in different sports events, which gave a fame to their nations all over the world. To conclude, both of the persons have their own importance. If the middle-aged human runs the economy and development of a state, then the old mankind also have a huge knowledge of their norms as well as a science, which play an indispensable role. But, I think that its benefits outweigh its drawbacks.
In this epoch, the
humans
of
different
countries having a great multitude of adolescents
in comparison
with the senior citizens. I
personally
believe that, a young generation is the workforce of any
state and
they play a crucial role in the process of development.
However
, they are
so
energetic and if someone cannot utilize it, this leads towards the
wrong
side, which is
really
a perilous situation in that country.

Undoubtedly
, the elderly mankind knows about the culture, traditions more than the middle-aged
humans
.
In addition
, they have a profound knowledge pertaining to several things
because
they spend
many
hours on them.
While
, the new generation does not contain that much information.
For instance
, according to a recent research, which revealed that the inhabitants of Thailand have forgotten their norms. The primary reason of this, they have 80% adolescents and
old
folks are present in a
small
percentage.
So
, no one is there to elaborate and grasp them about their rituals.
Moreover
, if the middle-aged
people
do not secure a job, then they
move
towards the evil side and commit a crime, which become a critical condition for any nation.

Nevertheless
, the senior citizen of a society are not healthy, they suffer from
different
diseases and a huge proportion of
GDPA
outlay for them.
On the other hand
, the
human
range from the age 19-35 are proactive, they are
so
muscular and
actively
boost the economy of any country.
For example
, a survey conducted by the statistics department, which highlighted that multinational firms have interests in a youth,
because
they know that, they have a potential, which they require.
Furthermore
, they
also
earn an
honour
for their countries by participating in
different
sports
events
, which gave a fame to their nations all over the world.

To conclude
, both of the persons have their
own
importance. If the middle-aged
human
runs the economy and development of a state, then the
old
mankind
also
have a huge knowledge of their norms
as well
as a science, which play an indispensable role.
But
, I
think
that its benefits outweigh its drawbacks.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? v. 20

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts