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It's a waste of money for Government to fund space travel or space exploration. Give specific examples and details to support your answer. v.2

It's a waste of money for Government to fund space travel or space exploration. Give specific examples and details to support your answer. v. 2
During human' s history, There have been endless efforts to travel outside of their area for finding new worlds. It seems to human' s naturarity. And also many people have been dreaming to go space travel for many reasons. But, I think it is not the first issue which need to spend money. There are many childs who are suffering from starving everyday and struggle to avoid death, especially, in Africa. I think that Government should spend money for them, firstly. For space exploration, Government must spend a lots of money for developing spaceships, educating pilots, and launching spaceships. With that money, Government can save many life who are died, because they don' t have enough money for buying some foods. Some people will disagree with my opinon, because countries which have been trying to launch their own spaceships usually don' t have food problems. But, they should recognize that the countries who have been trying to go to space, also had tried enlarging their territories on the earth, and that somewhat affect the starving problems. (+13분) Some people may insist that the environment of the earth has been going bad. So, condition of our planet would not suit for living. But, in my opinion, it will be more effective that we should spend our money and our energy about reasearch to purifying the earth. We need to focus on our home where we are living in. It is more important than wasting much money for space travel which is really non-economic thing. Those two reason were why I disagree with spending a lots of money for space travel. We can use that money for more valuable things. If we spend the money for space travel. We wouldn' t get anything from that. But If we spend the money for facing problems. It will be much more useful.
During
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s history, There have been endless efforts to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
their area for finding new worlds. It seems to
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s
Possible spelling mistake found.
naturarity
. And
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have been dreaming to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is not the
first
issue which need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
money.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "children", the plural form of the noun 'child'?
childs
who are suffering from starving
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
and struggle to avoid death,
especially
, in Africa. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for them,
firstly
. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a lot" or simply "lots"?
a lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for developing spaceships, educating pilots, and launching spaceships. With that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
can save
Possible agreement error. The noun life seems to be countable; consider using: "many lives".
many life
who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for buying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
foods.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will disagree with my
Possible spelling mistake found.
opinon
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
countries which have been trying to launch their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
spaceships
usually
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t have food problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, they should recognize that the countries who have been trying to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
,
also
had tried enlarging their territories on the earth, and that somewhat affect the starving problems. (+13분)

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may insist that the environment of the earth has been going
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, condition of our planet would not suit for living.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in my opinion, it will be more effective that we should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and our energy about
Possible spelling mistake found.
reasearch
to purifying the earth. We need to focus on our home where we are living in. It is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than wasting much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
which is
really
non-economic thing.

Those two reason were why I disagree with spending
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a lot" or simply "lots"?
a lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for more valuable things. If we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
. We
Possible spelling mistake found.
wouldn&
#039; t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
anything from that.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
If we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for facing problems. It will be much more useful.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay It's a waste of money for Government to fund space travel or space exploration. Give specific examples and details to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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