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TPO 18- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

TPO 18- Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
Today, all of us are surrounded by different kind of people. For youngsters in their school time, they mainly communicate with their teachers and their friends. When it comes to the individuals who influence the most on youngsters, controversy surrounds the issue of whether they are affected by their teachers or by their friends? I am of the opinion that young people today have more tendency to communicate more with their friends than any other person. The following explanations will further elaborate on the perspective. One of the most remarkable aspects of the ongoing discussion which demands to be reflected is that the age matter can be one of the reasons that kids are most affected by their friends. As a matter of fact, they find more thing in common with their same age friends, and they enjoy the time playing and talking together. Moreover, teachers always have communication about the subjects of the class with their students. Thus, this may cause the less passion for more interaction from youngsters. Take my experience, for instance, When I was in high school, I rarely talk and open up to my teachers because they never asked me about my personal problem. However, I consult my problems with one of my intimate friends. He kept all my secrets, and till now we have made a great friendship. Another noticeable aspect of the topic which needs a keen contemplation is that teachers spend less time with students and they often leave the class after finishing the lessons. In fact, this does not let students share their feelings and problems with their teachers. Hence, as they do not allocate extra time for their for their students, it is improbable to understand and establish a solid relationship. In additionally, young people will talk to the ones who spend their time with, not their teachers who barely talk to them. Ironically, there are some justifications by one who argues that teachers can have more impacts on kids. In essence, they are more seasoned and have earned more knowledge through their life. Therefore, their tips and suggestions are significantly valuable for students to select the right roads. Perhaps my sister' s experience can shed more light on this matter. When she was 18, she consulted her problems with her teachers to select the best field of study. Thanks to that help, now, she is a successful doctor. Taken all the aspects mentioned above into consideration, I am pretty convinced that there are many reasons to support the idea of friends having more impact on young people. Young people are more interested in talking to their same age, besides as teachers spend less time with students, kids communicate more with their friends. Meanwhile, students should take advantage of their teacher' s experience.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, all of us
are surrounded
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. For youngsters in their school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they
mainly
communicate with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
influence the most on youngsters, controversy surrounds the issue of whether they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
or by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
? I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
have more tendency to communicate more with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
than any other person. The following explanations will
further
elaborate on the perspective.

One of the most remarkable aspects of the ongoing discussion which demands to
be reflected
is that the age matter can be one of the reasons that kids are most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. As a matter of fact, they find more thing in common with their same age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, and they enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
playing and talking together.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
always have communication about the subjects of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Thus
, this may cause the less passion for more interaction from youngsters. Take my experience,
for instance
, When I was in high school, I rarely talk and open up to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they never asked me about my personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
However
, I consult my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
with one of my intimate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
all my secrets, and till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we have made a great friendship.

Another noticeable aspect of the topic which needs a keen contemplation is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
spend less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
students and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
after finishing the lessons. In fact, this does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
share their feelings and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
Hence
, as they do not allocate extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "for their".
for their for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, it is improbable to understand and establish a solid relationship. In
additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will talk to the ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with, not their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
barely
talk to them.

Ironically
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
justifications by one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
argues that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can have more impacts on kids. In essence, they are more seasoned and have earned more knowledge through their life.
Therefore
, their tips and suggestions are
significantly
valuable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to select the right roads. Perhaps my
Possible spelling mistake found.
sister&
#039; s experience can shed more light on this matter. When she was 18, she consulted her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
with her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to select the best field of study. Thanks to that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, she is a successful doctor.

Taken all the aspects mentioned above into consideration, I am pretty convinced that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons to support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
having more impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more interested in talking to their same age,
besides
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
spend less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, kids communicate more with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. Meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should take advantage of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
teacher&
#039; s experience.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 18- Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
463 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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