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Education plays a vital role in the development of a country or a society. If the high school will be built in my community I will definitely welcome it. I have many reasons to support it but I will describe a few. First of all, because of "c v.1

Education plays a vital role in the development of a country or a society. If the high school will be built in my community I will definitely welcome it. I have many reasons to support it but I will describe a few. First of all, because of "c v. 1
Some people argue that skilled and knowledgeable people from developing countries should get more opportunities by developed countries. While I believe that it may solve many problems, such as unemployment in those countries. On the one hand, the advent of globalization, many people have approached towards the wealthy countries rather than being unemployed in their own countries, for instance, Japan, Australia, and Canada now are allowing skilful workers in their countries in terms of job visa. Consequently, it helps both countries to stimulate economic growth; moreover, it makes the strong relationship between two countries. Furthermore, as work opportunities improve, the crime rate will fall in poor countries, which may lead them to earn reputation around the world. On the other hand, granting employees from underprivileged nations will assist to develop the economic rise, as well as, they can use their knowledge in different sectors, namely, management, engineering, and construction. For example, Google and many renowned companies recruit employees from different countries who contribute to their company’s profit and reputation. Sundar Pichai, is an Indian American business executive and the chief executive officer of Alphabet Inc, and its subsidiary Google LLC. In addition, it also benefited to know diverse cultures and ethical values that remove the cultural gap between human beings. In conclusion, trained employees not only beneficial to their own country, but also they create values for their country to the outside world. From my point of view, unemployment is one of the vital issues in developing countries, and it can be solved somehow by sending experienced people in rich countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that skilled and knowledgeable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more opportunities by developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. While I believe that it may solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems, such as unemployment in those countries.

On the one hand, the advent of globalization,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have approached towards the wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
rather
than
being unemployed
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
for instance
, Japan, Australia, and Canada
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are allowing
Possible spelling mistake. 'skilful' is British English.
skilful
workers in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in terms of job visa.
Consequently
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to stimulate economic growth;
moreover
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the strong relationship between two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Furthermore
, as work opportunities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
, the crime rate will fall in poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, which may lead them to earn reputation around the world.

On the other hand
, granting employees from underprivileged nations will assist to develop the economic rise,
as well
as, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their knowledge in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sectors,
namely
, management, engineering, and construction.
For example
, Google and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
renowned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
recruit employees from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who contribute to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s profit and reputation.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sundar
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pichai
, is an Indian American business executive and the chief executive officer of Alphabet Inc, and its subsidiary Google LLC.
In addition
, it
also
benefited to know diverse cultures and ethical values that remove the cultural gap between human beings.

In conclusion
, trained employees not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
beneficial to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they create values for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to the outside world. From my point of view, unemployment is one of the vital issues in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, and it can
be solved
somehow by sending experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Education plays a vital role in the development of a country or a society. If the high school will be built in my community I will definitely welcome it. I have many reasons to support it but I will describe a few. First of all, because of "c v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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