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It is true that history is considered to be an unnecessary subject by a few individuals. However, I believe that the history plays a vital role in our education, therefore an absence of history in schools can cause many disadvantages to students. v.1

It is true that history is considered to be an unnecessary subject by a few individuals. However, I believe that the history plays a vital role in our education, therefore an absence of history in schools can cause many disadvantages to students. v. 1
Millions of vehicles have flooded have flooded Britain road by the year 2000. This is in huge difference with the first car approved in the year 1888. Though, availability and usage of public transport are more vital than having individual vehicles in the area which can help both society and government. The government should go for alternate forms of travel like high speed trains, buses and aeroplanes throughout the country which will help people from different economic background to travel conveniently. Going for more public transport will increase country’s revenue, side by side generating various job opportunities in the sector. This will lead to overall growth. For example, Japan’s country’s major mode is bullet trains which are the major lifeline for their country people and is a major boost up for other people around in terms of service and profitable business model. Having many cars in one family is a familiar thing nowadays. This increases the road density, pollution and hampers other transport services creating an imbalance. Since, industrialisation, the number has skyrocketed and it needs to be controlled if one wants to think from about the environment and economic point of view. For example, Beijing in China faces a whole amount of traffic and pollution due to cars affordability. Therefore, the international laws need to be introduced in order to control the car ownership. For example, imposing certain taxes on family owning more than one vehicle in the family. Also, blocking vehicle purchase in the future till a genuine reason is stated, increasing the price and imposing certain taxes in accordance with the economic status. Certain changes in motor and vehicle act should be done from time to time. In conclusion, it will be beneficial to go for various public ways of transportation to instil a common ground in the world of transportation, which could help with nation’s growth in each and every aspect.
Millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "have flooded".
have flooded have flooded
Britain road by the year 2000. This is in huge difference with the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
approved in the year 1888. Though, availability and usage of public transport are more vital than having individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
in the area which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
both society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should go for alternate forms of travel like high speed trains, buses and
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplanes' is British English.
aeroplanes
throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
economic background to travel
conveniently
. Going for more public transport will increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
revenue, side by side generating various job opportunities in the sector. This will lead to
overall
growth.
For example
, Japan’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
major mode is bullet trains which are the major lifeline for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and is a major boost up for other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around in terms of service and profitable business model.

Having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in one family is a familiar thing nowadays. This increases the road density, pollution and hampers other transport services creating an imbalance. Since,
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialisation' is British English.
industrialisation
, the number has skyrocketed and it needs to
be controlled
if one wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
from about the environment and economic point of view.
For example
, Beijing in China faces a whole amount of traffic and pollution due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
affordability.

Therefore
, the international laws need to
be introduced
in order to control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
ownership.
For example
, imposing certain taxes on family owning more than one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
in the family.
Also
, blocking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
in the future till a genuine reason
is stated
, increasing the price and imposing certain taxes in accordance with the economic status. Certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in motor and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
act should
be done
from time to time.

In conclusion
, it will be beneficial to go for various public ways of transportation to
Possible spelling mistake. 'instil' is British English.
instil
a common ground in the world of transportation, which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with nation’s growth in each and every aspect.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It is true that history is considered to be an unnecessary subject by a few individuals. However, I believe that the history plays a vital role in our education, therefore an absence of history in schools can cause many disadvantages to students. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
315 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • It is true that history is considered to be an unnecessary subject by a few individuals. However, I believe that the history plays a vital role in our education, therefore an absence of history in schools can cause many disadvantages to students. v.1