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1300 Describe a music group/band/singer in your countryYou should sayWhich person or bandWho often likes listening to their/his/her songsWhat kind of music they/he/she/sing(s)And explain why you admire them/him/her v.1

1300 Describe a music group/band/singer in your countryYou should sayWhich person or bandWho often likes listening to their/his/her songsWhat kind of music they/he/she/sing(s)And explain why you admire them/him/her v. 1
Since the advent of modern technology, Humans have been craving for gadgets which can make their lives easier. Today we stand in 21st century & if we just have a look around, we can surely say that our lives have been surrounded by many electronic gadgets from heating devices such as heaters to cooling devices air conditioners. As the time passes by humans have made things advanced or reduced their size. One such gadget which can be said as most commonly used device a mobile phone. Along with itself mobile phones bring numerous advantages and disadvantages. . Also a very common debate that is Should students bring mobile phones along or not inside classrooms. I think there is no need for mobile phones in classrooms. The most common and prominent reason for this is they'll cause distractions. Mobile phones have been such a vital part of our lives that even unintentionally start using it for no reason. They'd definitely be a huge distraction for a significant strength of students. Technologies have made human lives so easier that things which required a lot of hard work are now readily available on the go. Consequently, making us lazier. Which is definitely not required in classrooms. Solving a math problem manually instead of using a mobile phone application is surely beneficial (if it is humanly possible). Lastly, using gadgets in front of your teachers or professors doesn't give a good impression. It feels like they're talking to walls if everyone is using mobile phones, even though they're researching something relevant to the topic. So I'd like to conclude that electronic gadgets have no space in classrooms. Our parents and grandparents have cleared the same stages without this stuff. Basically, they're not our needs rather wants for easy life.
Since the advent of modern technology, Humans have been craving for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
easier.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
we stand in 21st century & if we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
have a look around, we can
surely
say that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
have
been surrounded
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
from heating devices such as heaters to cooling devices air conditioners. As the time passes by humans have made things advanced or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
their size. One such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadget
which can
be said
as most
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
device a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
. Along with itself mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
bring numerous advantages and disadvantages.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common debate that
Did you mean "it"?
is
Should students bring mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
along or not inside classrooms.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there is no need for mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in classrooms. The most common and prominent reason for this is they'll cause distractions. Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have been such a vital part of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
that even
unintentionally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using it for no reason. They'd definitely be a huge distraction for a significant strength of students.

Technologies have made human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easier that things which required
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
readily
available on the go.
Consequently
, making us lazier.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
is definitely not required in classrooms. Solving a math problem
manually
instead
of using a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
application is
surely
beneficial (if it is
humanly
possible).

Lastly
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
in front of your teachers or professors doesn't give a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impression. It feels like they're talking to walls if everyone is using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
,
even though
they're researching something relevant to the topic.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I'd like
to conclude
that electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
have no space in classrooms. Our parents and grandparents have cleared the same stages without this stuff.
Basically
, they're not our needs
rather
wants for easy life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 1300 Describe a music group/band/singer in your countryYou should sayWhich person or bandWho often likes listening to their/his/her songsWhat kind of music they/he/she/sing(s)And explain why you admire them/him/her v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
295 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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