Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is thought by some that its is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.3

It is thought by some that its is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the countryside. 3
In this day and age, most of the people are living in the cities because of job opportunities. While others think that living in the rural areas are better. To start with, professionals tend to reside in the metropolis because a lot of opportunities. Especially when it comes to their career and also some thinks that there are a lot of places to visit when they get bored. For example, here in the Philippines most of the fresh graduate students migrate to the capital city which is Manila because most of the prestigious companies are in there. Another is the that there a lot of local spots to visit and enjoy their rest day like the Venice Canal in Taguig City or they could visit Intramuros which they could learn the past culture and heritage of their country. So more young adults tend to choose living in city center nowadays since that there are a lot of perks that they enjoy when they stay. However, traditional individuals think that it is expensive to live in the cities. So they tend to choose the rural areas. Although there a lot of job vacancies in the metropolis the cost of living there is so high. Which is one of the main reason they are choosing to stay in rural areas rather than in urban areas. Moreover, the populace are also considering the traffic congestion in the big cities since that there a lot of people working there which means that in rush hour streets would be full of vehicles going to their respective work. Which could give the working adults a lot of stress going to work as well as returning to their respective houses. In summary, I agree that working in the metropolis is beneficial since that there are a lot of opportunities. Specifically in career advancement as well as for leisure and entertainment when some people want to enjoy their vacation.
In this day and age, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of job opportunities.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are better.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, professionals tend to reside in the metropolis
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of opportunities.
Especially
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to their career and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of places to visit when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bored.
For example
, here in the Philippines most of the fresh graduate students migrate to the capital city which is Manila
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the prestigious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are in there. Another is the that there a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of local spots to visit and enjoy their rest day like the Venice Canal in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Taguig
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
City or
they could visit
Possible spelling mistake found.
Intramuros
which they could learn the past culture and heritage of their country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
more young adults tend to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in city center nowadays since that there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of perks that they enjoy when they stay.

However
, traditional individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is expensive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they tend to choose the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
there a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of job vacancies in the metropolis the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
high.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
is one of the main reason they are choosing to stay in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
rather
than in urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Moreover
, the populace are
also
considering the traffic congestion in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
since that there a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
working there which means that in rush hour streets would be full of vehicles going to their respective work. Which could give the working adults a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
going to work
as well
as returning to their respective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.

In summary, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that working in the metropolis is beneficial since that there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of opportunities.
Specifically
in career advancement
as well
as for leisure and entertainment when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to enjoy their vacation.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay It is thought by some that its is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the countryside. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts