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It is thought by some that it is better to live in city while others believe that the life is better in the countryside. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.1

It is thought by some that it is better to live in city while others believe that the life is better in the countryside. v. 1
Many enjoy living in the city, whereas others prefer to live in the countryside where they are far away from all the city's noise and fast moving life. In my opinion, it's depend on the kind of person and what do they do for a living. One the one hand, many people like the metropolitan city where they can meet different people and experience multicultural environment. Big city also has more job opportunities than the countryside. For example, one can find plenty of jobs in big cities for software engineering, whereas in the countryside the number is close to zero. Another factor is the age, younger generation prefers to live in the city. Young people believe in the work hard and party hard culture, and in the city they find exactly the same. Hence, a city is more suitable for younger and ambitious people. On the other hand, big city comes with bigger problem, such as traffic, crime and higher living expenses. Many spend just hours on commutation whereas in the countryside no one does. The countryside is cheaper, peaceful and perfect for raising a family. Many prefer living in the countryside to raise their family or settle down after retirement. So, the countryside is better for people who retired and have a limited source of income or for the families. In conclusion, I think it truly depends on the type of person, their goal in life and their likes and dislikes. While there are some benefits of living in the city, there are clearly some downsides as well. The same applies to the countryside also. Therefore, each person needs to evaluate their situation and goals in the life before deciding where they want to spend the rest of their life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the city, whereas others prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
where they are far away from all the city's noise and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In my opinion, it's depend on the kind of person and what do they do for a living.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like the metropolitan city where they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and experience multicultural environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
city
also
has more job opportunities than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
.
For example
, one can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of jobs in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for software engineering, whereas in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
the number is close to zero. Another factor is the age, younger generation prefers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the city. Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe in the work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and party
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
culture, and in the city they find exactly the same.
Hence
, a city is more suitable for younger and ambitious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with bigger problem, such as traffic, crime and higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
expenses.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
hours on commutation whereas in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
no one does. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is cheaper, peaceful and perfect for raising a family.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
to raise their family or settle down after retirement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who retired and have a limited source of income or for the families.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it
truly
depends on the type of person, their goal in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and their likes and dislikes. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the city, there are
clearly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
downsides
as well
. The same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
applies to
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
also
.
Therefore
, each person needs to evaluate their situation and goals in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
deciding where they want to spend the rest of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay It is thought by some that it is better to live in city while others believe that the life is better in the countryside. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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