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In many countries today, there is insufficient respect to old people. What are the reasons? What problems might it bring to the society? v.2

In many countries today, there is insufficient respect to old people. What are the reasons? What problems might it bring to the society? v. 2
It is irrefutable that advancement and development in technology has made the current generation proud and overconfident as compare to previous generations. In few nations these days, older people are not admired so much by present youth. In this essay, the reasons of this effect and the probable outcome will be discussed in the following paragraphs in detail. Firstly, the reasons behind this behavior. Technology has main role to play in this attitude. Current generation has evolved in many ways since the technology has done major changes in the society. Such as, instant results in techniques, highly advanced way of living and developments in various fields. All of this collectively has boosted our confidence and, in some ways, makes us overoptimistic as compare to previous generations. Which has altered our behavior towards older generations. Secondly, the outcome of this behavior. Discipline will be the major part which will be affected in near future by this attitude and relationship between different generations will be hampered. On an overall, lack of communication will be the output for the society, which can lead the society to uncultured and undisciplined in many ways. Finally, I will conclude, technology has helped us in many ways not only the current generations but the previous one also, on that part we should be proud, but the sacrifice of our older to bring us on the current stage is equally important. Supporting in all ways to all the generations to show humanity and for the sake of unity, this should be our prime moto to have healthy life on earth for many generations to come.
It is irrefutable that advancement and development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
generation proud and overconfident as compare to previous generations. In few nations these days, older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not admired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much by present youth. In this essay, the reasons of this effect and the probable outcome will
be discussed
in the following paragraphs in detail.

Firstly
, the reasons behind this behavior.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has main role to play in this attitude.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Current
generation has evolved in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has done major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the society. Such as, instant results in techniques,
highly
advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
of living and developments in various fields. All of this
collectively
has boosted our confidence and, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us overoptimistic as compare to previous generations.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
has altered our behavior towards older generations.

Secondly
, the outcome of this behavior. Discipline will be the major part which will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
in near future by this attitude and relationship between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
generations will
be hampered
. On an
overall
, lack of communication will be the output for the society, which can lead the society to uncultured and undisciplined in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.

Finally
, I will conclude,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
us in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
generations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the previous one
also
, on that part we should be proud,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the sacrifice of our older to bring us on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
stage is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. Supporting in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to all the generations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
humanity and for the sake of unity, this should be our prime
Possible spelling mistake found.
moto
to have healthy life on earth for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
generations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries today, there is insufficient respect to old people. What are the reasons? What problems might it bring to the society? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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