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It is thought by some that its is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

It is thought by some that its is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the countryside. 1
In the 21st century, taking a break before starting university or college studies is quite common among young generations. This action sure has a lot of advantages, but there will also be some drawbacks. First and foremost, giving oneself time to rest before starting a harder study schedule is quite beneficial concerning to students’ mental and physical health condition. If students do nothing but study, they will become tired of it and will not be able to endure all hardships. However, when they take a one year break, they will have time to rest their minds and think about their preferences about academic life. According to the survey conducted among Singaporean students, the ones who took breaks after finishing high school said that there are myriad positive outcomes that result from it. Additionally, while having a time to think for one’s future and preferences, the students may change their mind. They may come to conclusion that the major they have chosen is not adequate for them. For example, there are a great number of people who admitted that they have decided to change their majors after having a moment to think about their subsequent lifestyle. On the other hand, there are some disadvantages that cannot be undenied. A student can grow to be reluctant and lose their enthusiasm if they take breaks after finishing high school. Some people lose their interest and desire to learn after having a long rest. For instance, the 20% of jobless people are the ones who lost their enthusiasm after finishing high school. In addition to this, there are some other numerous demerits of working or travelling for a year as well. For example, it the students’ family cannot afford the money to travel, taking a break may be meaningless for the students. In conclusion, given these points, as every coin has two sides; taking a break can be a good opportunity for students to reflect on their forthcoming career and make better career choices. On the other side, it can ruin their future, staying away from working may make them lose their desire to further studies. For these reasons, one should evaluate all the benefits and drawbacks before taking an action.
In the 21st century, taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting university or college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
is quite common among young generations. This action sure has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there will
also
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks.

First
and foremost, giving oneself time to rest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting a harder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
schedule is quite beneficial concerning to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
mental and physical health condition. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, they will become tired of it and will not be able to endure all hardships.
However
, when they take a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "one-year"
one year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
, they will have time to rest their minds and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their preferences about academic life. According to the survey conducted among Singaporean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
who took
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breaks
after finishing high school said that there are myriad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes that result from it.
Additionally
, while having a time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
for one’s future and preferences, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their mind. They may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to conclusion that the major they have chosen is not adequate for them.
For example
, there are a great number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who admitted that they have decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their majors after having a moment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their subsequent lifestyle.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages that cannot be
Possible spelling mistake found.
undenied
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can grow to be reluctant and lose their enthusiasm if they take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breaks
after finishing high school.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lose their interest and desire to learn after having a long rest.
For instance
, the 20% of jobless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
who lost their enthusiasm after finishing high school.
In addition
to this, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other numerous demerits of working or travelling for a year
as well
.
For example
, it the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
family cannot afford the money to travel, taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
may be meaningless for the students.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
these points, as every coin has two sides; taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to reflect on their forthcoming career and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better career choices. On the other side, it can ruin their future, staying away from working may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them lose their desire to
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. For these reasons, one should evaluate all the benefits and drawbacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
taking an action.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is thought by some that its is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the countryside. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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