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Question: Computer are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Question: Computer are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. v. 1
Nowadays, by developing of new-fledged technologies, computer are used as a new method of education. Some individuals think that computer has some benefits, however, others believe that drawbacks of this trend are more. There are rational reasons for the given statements which will be discussed in details, followed by my point of view. On the one side, the main reason for this is that online programs are determining factor for utilizing computers for education. To simply put, There are several issues that teachers may need to employ online programs to facilitate the educational activities. Take a distance learning as an example; new technologies such as computer enhance the quality of education in distance learning by using of them for online classes, take an exam and solving problems. Moreover, using computer for studying the soft copy of books by computers is more likely to have a benefit to the environment rather that what a paper by publish hard copy of them. Thus, the more employing computer for taking in courses, the better consequence on the quality of learning. On the other hand, however, the opposite view asserts that disadvantage of computer on education should not be ignored. To begin with, the main argument is that concentration on utilizing of computers are less. That is to say, when students studying by computers, they lose their focus on the subject to some extent. A good illustration for this is games which are more available on every computer and some instructors, especially young students, are more likely to play them on studying time as well. Hence, not only are not computers rewarding to concentration, but the may affect their studying as well. To conclude, there are valid reasons on both sides of the controversy, however, it is my firm opinion that attention should be paid to employ computers for the sake of development of new methods to improve quality of teaching followed by help to fast learning.
Nowadays, by developing of new-fledged technologies, computer are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a new method of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that computer has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits,
however
, others believe that drawbacks of this trend are more. There are rational reasons for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statements which will
be discussed
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, followed by my point of view.

On the one side, the main reason for this is that online programs are determining factor for utilizing computers for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. To
simply
put, There are several issues that teachers may need to employ online programs to facilitate the educational activities. Take a distance learning as an example; new technologies such as computer enhance the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in distance learning by using of them for online classes, take an exam and solving problems.
Moreover
, using computer for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
the soft copy of books by computers is more likely to have a benefit to the environment
rather
that what a paper by publish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
copy of them.
Thus
, the more employing computer for taking in courses, the better consequence on the quality of learning.

On the other hand
,
however
, the opposite view asserts that disadvantage of computer on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the main argument is that concentration on utilizing of computers are less.
That is
to say, when students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
by computers, they lose their focus on the subject to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration for this is games which are more available on every computer and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
instructors,
especially
young students, are more likely to play them on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
time
as well
.
Hence
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are not computers rewarding to concentration,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the may affect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
as well
.

To conclude
, there are valid reasons on both sides of the controversy,
however
, it is my firm opinion that attention should
be paid
to employ computers for the sake of development of new methods to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
quality of teaching followed by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
learning.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Question: Computer are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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