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It is important for children to act independently and make decisions by themselves. Do you agree or disagree v.1

It is important for children to act independently and make decisions by themselves. v. 1
It is an argued that if we live in a country where all people have to speak English, and it will affect dramatically to social, as well as communication. I completely agree this idea, and this essay I will explain some arguments to this statement. Firstly, English is the most widely spoken language at countries in the global. Thank to communicate English that economy in countries tend to develop significantly. For instance, imagine that two companies from France and Thailand headquarters get together for a meeting without using general language; thus, they cannot transfer successful information each other. Furthermore, cooperation between different countries enter into English contracts. The secondly, English is the dominant language, and it is a great deal of popularity in the developed world and, it plays a vital in developing education. Obviously, students starting learning English when they were children, and this help them to improve their career in the future. To illustrate, we cannot able to speak English, and this leads to we can be lost opportunities in looking for better jobs at foreign companies with attractive salary. Finally, English became a general language around the world; however, someplace English is still not popular. Although, local language shows the traditional and cultural values attached to each nation, it will influence communication with new friends coming from other countries. For example, China is a nation where people use less English; therefore, people can suffer some disadvantage when they travel this place. In conclusion, non-speaking English can cause serious social and during conversations problems when we have to live in a speaking English country. In contrast, I believe that these problems can be tackled by studying English.
It is an argued that if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
speak English, and it will affect
dramatically
to social,
as well
as communication. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, and this essay I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments to this statement.

Firstly
, English is the most
widely
spoken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the global. Thank to communicate English that economy in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
tend to develop
significantly
.
For instance
, imagine that two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
from France and Thailand headquarters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together for a meeting without using general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
;
thus
, they cannot transfer successful information each other.
Furthermore
, cooperation between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
enter into English contracts.

The
secondly
, English is the dominant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, and it is a great deal of popularity in the developed world and, it plays a vital in developing education.
Obviously
, students starting learning English when they were children, and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their career in the future. To illustrate, we
Did you mean "cannot be able"?
cannot able
to speak English, and this leads to we can
be lost
opportunities in looking for better jobs at foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
with attractive salary.

Finally
, English became a general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
around the world;
however
, someplace English is
still
not popular. Although, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the traditional and cultural values attached to each nation, it will influence communication with new friends coming from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For example
, China is a nation where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
less English;
therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can suffer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantage when they travel this place.

In conclusion
, non-speaking English can cause serious social and during conversations problems when we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a speaking English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
In contrast
, I believe that these problems can
be tackled
by studying English.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay It is important for children to act independently and make decisions by themselves. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
279 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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